


Holding On To Your Hurricanes

by darkerwings



Series: Wind and Rain [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Daddy Kink, Fluff, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, M/M, much more plus a whole lot of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:18:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2066181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkerwings/pseuds/darkerwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis helps Tessa hide things. Harry’s just glad he’s gotten better at knowing where to look. </p><p>In short: Louis goes off to university, Harry considers what a future together means, and they’re making it work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding On To Your Hurricanes

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series, so it’s best if you start at the [beginning](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1082833)!
> 
> I would like to first and foremost thank all of you who have been waiting for this for being so patient with me, when I posted SUYSC I had no idea the positive response I was in store for. So, this right here is dedicated to all of you who have stuck with me throughout the process of writing this, thank you for following me down the rabbit hole.
> 
> A few more thank you’s are in order! Thank you to Gabby, who is the artist responsible for the beautiful artwork that you’ll be seeing throughout the story! She’s been my lovely lil nugget throughout this entire process, always making me bust out laughing, and I’m so glad I got the chance to work with her. You can find her on tumblr at her art blog [stoptryingpls](http://stoptryingpls.tumblr.com) and on her main blog [snapcchat](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com). Thank you to Emi, for being my reliable and always willing beta, you’re the absolute best. Thank you to Emma for being so reassuring and patient. Thank you to Bea, who’s my safety net, my heart has a little guest room just for you. Thank you to Susan, for being the angry little voice in the back of my brain telling me to get my shit together.
> 
> This is a big ol’ mess of fluff for the most part, but I did delve into a bit of angst as well. Don’t hate me too much, just trust these two to figure it all out in the end. Happy reading! I hope you enjoy the continuation of their story as much as I do.
> 
>  **Reminders** : 1. This is fiction, not meant to be taken as fact or any kind of presumption about reality. Do **not** send this to the boys, or anyone even remotely close to them. 2. **Don't** repost my work and **don't** translate it (as far as translating goes, [here](http://darkerwings.tumblr.com/translating) is why I don't allow it) - I have my ways of looking through sites and finding my fics, and I have reported and gotten people kicked off for stealing my work before, I won't hesitate to do it again. 3. Thank you guys for all your support, sorry I have to put these kinda things here at the beginning but I wouldn't say them if I hadn't had sour experiences with people before. Hope ya like it and happy reading!

Harry can’t remember a time in his life before now that he’s felt this content. 

Maybe that sounds a bit exaggerated, but it’s true. Truer than true and bluer than blue and everything beautiful as Louis takes the cobalt bottle of SKYY vodka and pours another pool of it over the dips of Harry’s hip bones, the divot of his belly button, and the tense muscles of his abs.  

“C’mon, babe,” he whispers as the sun sets through the window opposite the large expanse of their bed, white sheets turned gold as the August heat begins to fade. 

“Don’t rush me,” Louis chips back at him, blue eyes like dual flames as they look up at him through his dark flare of lashes, lips quirked in a smirk. With his left hand and Louis’ right intertwined, their touch is brilliant enough to change the winds, to turn back time. Just a little bit more time is all he’s asking for. 

Louis keeps eye contact all the way down, until his tongue is poking out to taste the expanse of skin just below Harry’s navel. Harry bites his lip because hell, how did he get so lucky?

“Shit,” he breathes, and Louis’ smirk only grows. Pink lips around his pink tongue as he begins to trace over every line. 

Louis’ tongue paints up to his left hip, and he laps up the the liquid with an exaggerated slurp. The sound goes right to Harry’s cock, slowly hardening, and he’s so tense, doesn’t want to move an inch. Louis sucks an array of bruises over the jut of the bone before moving over to his right hip to do the same. 

Summer light is everywhere, in the tan on both of their skins, in the hanging aroma of wildflowers where they sit on Harry’s dresser, next to Louis’ car keys and sunglasses. But summer and heat and light are separate ideas, Harry manages to think as Louis’ fingers circle one of his nipples. They don’t really mean much of anything until you’ve experienced them. Not until you’re able to associate memories with the sound of melting ice clinking in a glass of sweet tea, the vision of a sunrise breaking over the ocean. Spending nights in the backyard chasing fireflies as your daughter sprints ahead, with a warm, solid body draped over your back, whispering, _'faster, love, we can’t let her get away from us.'_

“Stop thinking.” Louis kisses over the nipple he’d been teasing, voice soft. Harry shivers slightly. “Relax, just focus on me, yeah? It’s just you and me.” 

He doesn’t always like this, not being the one in control. Not that he minds Louis mouthing over him and taking him apart, not in the slightest, but because he knows how much Louis loves being looked after. It’s difficult for him to allow himself to let go of the need to make sure Louis’s okay. 

“Okay,” he breathes, doing his best to quiet the voices that sing through his mind. “All right.” 

Louis leans up to kiss him, and his lips taste like vodka and the curry and orange rice they’d had for dinner earlier. Harry squeezes his fingers where their hands are still interlocked and kisses him back, feeling the tension at the base of his spine begin to crumble away. 

“Gonna mark you up,” Louis whispers into his mouth. “Gonna be able to remember this for days.”

“Yeah.” The deep whine that escapes past his lips. Louis shifts his bare bum further up his thighs, starting to squirm a bit like Harry loves. 

Louis kisses him again, deep and long, and Harry’s free hand comes to grip Louis’ waist as their tongues slide together. The room is all soft noise and shared breath. Louis is the one to pull back, breathing a little heavier than before and looking right into Harry’s eyes for a lengthy moment before shuffling back down. 

Louis’ tongue licks a map down his stomach, lapping up the remaining pools as Harry feels his cock twitch where it’s curved against his thigh. Then finally Louis comes to his belly button, peeking up to make sure Harry’s still watching, which, of  _course_  he is.

He delves his tongue into the little crater then, tasting and sucking, his free hand holding Harry’s hips down as they jolt at the sensation. Harry can feel how hard Louis is in between his thighs, feels their cocks brushing as Louis starts to grind down mindlessly. 

“Baby,” he moans. Louis lets out a small, broken noise at his pet name, eyes closed and mouth going slack as he huffs warm breath over Harry’s skin. “Doing so well, feels so _ah-_ ”

Louis decides in that moment to shift forward, just enough so that their cocks finally line up against one another. 

“Fuck,  _Haz_.” 

“Let me touch you, angel."

“O-okay.” Louis shuffles up to where his hips are sat down over Harry’s dick. He’s biting his lip and Harry can see the struggle he’s having, trying not to touch himself as he feels Harry’s cock rub between his cheeks. He’s flushed and so incredibly beautiful, Harry loves every inch of him.

He reaches down and takes hold of Louis’ cock where it’s dribbling slightly against his hip. Louis’ eyes flutter shut and he makes a quiet  _mmpf_  of approval. Harry feels a warmth in his toes, spreading up through his limbs, the same as he always gets when he knows he’s making his boy feel good. It’s like a shot of adrenaline, only mixed with something more potent. He’s fairly addicted. 

Louis’ eyes are still closed as he begins to circle his hips, and Harry knows that with a few more minutes of just that he’s sure to lose himself. He brings his thumb to trace over Louis’ tip, and he’s rewarded with a flash of blue, Louis’ eyes open wide as his breathing gets louder and his hands grip Harry’s sides.

“Oh.” His voice is so high and quiet. Harry is only able to hear it because he knows the noises Louis makes like this, knows when he’s close. 

He knows other things too, like how Louis’ secret favorite movie is Mary Poppins. (“ _They jump right into the chalk painting, alright? Kindly fuck off._ ”) How he layers his sweaters when it’s cold outside. ( _“It’s cheaper than turning the heat up. Besides, I’ve got you as my personal woodstove, don’t I?”_ ) And how he kisses hello. ( _“Missed you.”_ ) But maybe how much those mean to him are better left unsaid in this moment. The three glasses of wine he’d had with dinner had been lovely, but he knows better than to think that this is a last anything, not while his head is full of warmth and restless thoughts. 

“So lovely.” He praises, both because it’s true and because he knows it’s all Louis needs to hurdle over the edge. “So wonderful, sweetheart, come on.” He’s right, because that’s all there is before Louis’s coming with a harsh breath, grinding and swiveling his hips in frantic figures, spurting into Harry’s hand and onto his stomach and chest with a soft whimper.

Harry’s so close himself that he has to look up at the ceiling and close his eyes, count to five between breaths, because he doesn’t want this to end yet. Never wants it to end, honestly. In the world dark behind his lids, he feels as though he’s spinning. He’s dancing in circles on a merry-go-round, globe off its axis and whirlwinds churning, all while trying to keep his balance. He’s biting his lip to the point where it might draw blood soon enough, when he vaguely realizes through his drugged haze that Louis’ tongue is back on him again. And that’s just - his brain stutters - what? Not that he’s complaining,  _fuck_   _no_  he isn’t complaining, but all the vodka is gone by now, nothing but a sticky memory, so he’s simply curious is all.

He opens his eyes slowly, breathing out unevenly because Louis’ tongue feels like it’s painting the  _Mona_   _Lisa_ , slow and precise. Maybe he could be Louis’  _Starry_   _Night_  or his _Birth of Venus_. Maybe he already is, he thinks as a flush blooms high in his cheeks, maybe this is Louis proving it to him. Louis’ eyes meet his and here it is. There’s a bead of come on the corner of his lip and he’s licking his own come off of Harry’s chest, and that’s absolutely it. Harry’s coming like it’s been startled out of him, hips bucking into thin air.

“ _Shit_ ,” he moans as his hips stutter. Louis leans up to kiss him through it, bringing his hips back just a bit to grind down onto Harry’s lap to give him some friction. He can taste Louis’ come on his tongue, can feel his dick sliding between his boy’s cheeks wetly, and it takes a while but his hips slowly relax. Both of their heart rates take their time descending back to normal, and everything is heavy and calm. It’s a gradual thing, always careful afterwards, always gentle in the best possible way.

He draws back and kisses Louis along his jaw, smiling into it as he feels Louis’ stamina give out with a huff, letting himself drape over Harry entirely. After a moment Louis laughs quietly, and Harry joins him, feeling Louis’ soft giggles against his throat where he always tucks himself so neatly.

“Good?” He asks. It’s no question, really, given the way Louis’ palms are fluttering slightly against his chest, still pleasure drunk. He asks anyway, though, because he always likes to be sure.

“Mhmm.” Louis snuggles in closer. They’re a right mess.

“Now we’re both all sticky,” Harry hums, still smiling as he runs his clean hand through Louis’ hair. It isn't all that unusual for them to fall asleep with come still covering their skin. Louis has always told him he likes feeling dirty and claimed, and Harry just plain likes Louis, so there hasn’t ever been much questioning of it.

“Mostly just you,” Louis says, but the words are muffled against Harry’s skin. 

“I dunno,” Harry muses, trailing a light touch up the seam of Louis’ crack, feeling his own come beginning to dry there. So  _maybe_  it’s a thing for him as well. Louis arches into it weakly and shivers.

“So tired.” He hears Louis mumble against the skin of his neck. “Felt so good.”

Harry scratches lightly at the base of Louis’ neck, smiling happily as he massages the wound up muscles there. “You did so well, babe.” He presses a kiss to the top of his head, feeling like his heart can’t hold all this, but at least it’s trying. 

Neither of them stir for a while, just kind of staying like that, breathing in and out slowly. It doesn’t feel like he’s going to lose this, per se, it’s just that he’s going to miss it so much; these easy, flowing forevers that they have in unhurried moments like this one.

“Nine months,” Harry states quietly, thinking maybe Louis’ already asleep. 

“My favorite nine months ever,” Louis yawns, his sleepy voice startling Harry slightly. “‘S‘cause I got to spend ‘em all with you, my big ol’ dragon.” 

“I love it when you don’t make any sense.” He reaches over to the nightstand for a tissue, wiping his right hand off and turning out the dim light. It wanders into his path of thought that Louis’s probably a bit tipsy after all the vodka, his last thoughts before sleep are always a bit off kilter. Harry’s lips twitch in a fond smile.

“You love me, period.” Louis peeks up at him and pouts. Harry leans forward and kisses him on the nose, whispering a hushed  _roar_. Louis bursts into a snigger of tired giggles, definitely tipsy. Harry’s drunk off of him. 

Louis settles back into him again, more sated and calm than before. “I think you’re gonna give up your jewels, though.” Louis’s mumbling, Harry shifts them so he’s slotted around Louis’ back, one of his favorite places to be. Louis wiggles back into him, reaching for Harry’s arm and draping it over his side like a blanket. “All your treasures. I won’t even need a suit of armor. Think I might be able to just, y’know–” another yawn “–weasel a few out of ya.” 

Harry is dazed and sleepy, tracing patterns over Louis’ skin. His boy is here with him, for now, so it’s difficult for him to be anything but completely and perfectly in love. “You’ve already got ‘em all.” He sighs honestly, pressing another kiss to the back of Louis’ neck. “Every last piece, all yours.” 

Louis doesn’t respond this time, his breathing having gone even and steady. However, when Harry reaches to pull the afghan Louis’ sister had knit them over them tighter he sees that the smaller boy is smiling in his sleep. He doesn't let himself think, just counts the freckles on Louis' shoulder and drifts off with the sound of the wind.

Right here, for now, they’re endless.

~*~

Louis had first introduced the idea back in early February.

“I’ve been thinking about something,” he’d said with a subtle question mark at the end of the phrase. Louis had been wearing the knit scarf Harry had bought him for his birthday, matching the one Harry had been wearing. They’d been out for a walk, comfortable silence as the snow had fallen softly all around them, their own quiet oasis. 

“Hm?” He’d hummed against Louis’ temple, kissing a snowflake out of his hair.

“I applied to university back in October.” His voice had been apprehensive, as though Harry could feel anything other than excitement with a dash of pride. “It’s a really great school, and I, I dunno, I just went for it, figured what was there to lose by just applying, y’know?” Harry’s fingers had tingled during the pause, holding his breath. “Well, I got in.”

“Lou, that’s so wonderful!” He’d swooped in and caught Louis’ lips in a kiss, feeling a rush of pride hit him straight in the chest. Louis had thawed out of his initial surprise and had melted into Harry’s chest, gloved hands holding the lapels of his winter peacoat.

“Yeah, I.” Louis’ voice had been that wonderful, breathy shade when they’d pulled away. “I um, declared my major just last week, and I know I haven’t really talked too much about it, it’s just that we’ve been figuring things out and I didn’t wanna rock the boat too much.” He’d taken a rushed breath. “It all started before we were ever, um, together,” Harry’s stomach had zinged with something foreign and brilliant, then. “I didn’t wanna scare you off or-”

Harry’d cut off his nervous rambling with a quick peck to his lips. “You couldn’t ever. What is it, then? What’s your major?”

“Pre-Med.” Louis had beamed. “They’ve got such an amazing neonatal program, Haz, god, I can hardly believe they let me in.”

“Oh my god, Lou.” He couldn’t stop smiling, he’d known for years about Louis’ dream of becoming a pediatrician. “You are going to be so wonderful at it, how couldn’t they want you? You’re going to be amazing.”

“Yeah?” Louis had been biting the inside of his cheek. “You think so?”

“I know so, you’re so good with kids, that goes without saying. Fuck, Lou, you’re so brilliant. This is so brilliant.”

A blush had crept it’s way up into Louis’ cheeks. “It’s been a long time coming, but I feel like, I’m so certain I can do it.” Louis had breathed out, relaxing a bit. “And, well, I’m excited to look into their drama club as well.”

Harry’s heart had felt like it could hold it all. The fact that he'd wanked miserably to Louis in that damn leather jacket in his final year performance of  _Grease_ had - and has - still gone unsaid. He’s got to keep some things for himself, doesn’t he?

“Who knows? Maybe a bit of  _I Dreamed A Dream_  might help babies in need feel a bit better about their situations.”

Louis had just stared back at him, and Harry had gotten the sense that he wasn’t expecting such an easy reaction. Then, Louis had laughed, and Harry had joined in, and it had been like the snowflakes all around them were stars and they were alone in their very own galaxy. 

“Okay, okay,” Harry had laughed. “Maybe  _I Just Can’t Wait To Be King_ would be more appropriate.” His eyes had been streaming with laughter tears, feeling so light and proud. “More upbeat for the preemies, ‘n all that. Get ‘em dancing, even.”

Louis had just shook his head, and Harry quietly agreed with the sentiment. At that point they’d rounded the block and were then standing in front of Louis’ house, the lights inside were yellow and warm, and they could see figures moving behind the living room drapes.

“It’s in Bristol.” Louis’ voice had been quieter. “The university, it’s in Bristol.”

That had made him stop. Louis had turned to look back at him as he’d leaned back against a lamp post, taking a moment. His eyes had been dark and his features had given away that this one statement had been the source of it all. 

Flashes of hypothetical images had played through his mind like a flipbook of everything that could ever tear him apart. Louis on the Bristol bridge, studying in the sun by the harbor. Louis with the seabreeze in his hair, tanned skin far away from London’s gray skies. Louis with his eyes the color of the clearest ocean, no longer looking right back at him as they fall asleep together. Louis surrounded by a new group of people, having the time of his life and - Harry’s mind had jumped to a thought that still haunts him - Louis with someone else, someone  _his own age_. Louis growing up and forgetting him.

And that’s the kicker, isn’t it?

“Okay, Bristol.” He’d tasted the words in his mouth, mulling around with the question of which way they had been falling then. Everything had been numb, trapped in some gray area. How could he have been so ignorant as to think that the university of Louis’ dreams would be right in London? Of course there are so many other options, better options, options that are farther away, and he hadn’t even  _thought_  of them. 

“It’s just, you know I’ve been saving up these last few years,” Louis had interjected at Harry’s heavy silence. He hadn’t exactly been defensive, it was more of a panicked statement, actually. “And you know this doesn’t mean that we, I never want to-”

“No, no, we can, um, we can make it work.” He’d tried to shake the images out of his head, but they had kept assaulting him every time he closed his eyes. “I know we can. I want to fight for us, I can’t, Louis, I can’t lose you.”

Louis had let out a harsh breath at that, voice hiccuping in a way that Harry had known to associate with him being so overwhelmed. He’d wrapped his arms around Harry tightly and burrowed into his neck. “Never, Haz, god, you’ll never lose me.”

Harry had pulled him even closer, feeling their future shift as the moment had played itself out. He had tried to imagine a picture of himself and Tessa without Louis right along with them, and he hadn’t been sure when exactly that became more difficult to do than catching his breath. 

“I want to make this work,” Louis had said. “More than anything.”

That’s what Harry keeps reminding himself of, those last few words that February had left him with. It’s what he clings to now, as he drifts through a light, restless sleep. He hugs Louis’ frame closer to him and tries to dream it all away.

~*~

Louis is leaving today.

Louis is leaving today, except, that doesn’t explain why his side of the bed is empty and cold when Harry wakes up. Groggy Thursday morning light turns his eyelids pale rose as he sits upright, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to blink the remains of his dreams away.

Louis’ car keys are still set by the flower vase, and his raggedy old jean jacket is still draped over the armchair by the full length mirror. It must speak to something, how the simple sight of those few items alone can quell the nauseous feeling in his stomach. He’s always been fond of that jacket, sue him.

He pulls back the sheets and swings his feet onto the floor, the hardwood is cool enough that it calms his panicked hot skin. He cleans last night off of himself in the bathroom before he makes his way over to the dresser. He takes a deep breath as he goes to fish out a pair of shorts, seeing as how it’s 11:23am according the wrist watch he’d left on his bedside table. He wouldn’t want to give Mrs. Denice too much of an afternoon show when he goes out to get the mail later on. 

He reaches into the drawer blindly, fixing his sleep mussed hair in the mirror at the same time. It's matted with dried sweat and he cricks his neck to the side just right so that he feels aligned properly. Morning multitasking at it’s finest. Something small and soft meets his palm, though, so he focuses his gaze downward, only to feel a smile creep up over his features.

It’s a pair of small, pink socks with purple umbrellas dotted all over them. They’re Tessa’s. It's tradition, really. She likes to sneak into his room and leave her things in his drawers before she has to go, it’s been a habit of hers ever since she could walk. One of her favorite story books stuffed under his bathroom sink, or her toothbrush under his pillow. This time, apparently, it’s socks.

He shimmies into a pair of boxer briefs and kneels down to inspect the scene. There’s another pair of neon yellow ones with green frills at the top, and a single red one with a gray poodle on the side, apparently missing it’s twin. He scoops them all up and bites his lip, three weeks. Three weeks until she’s home again. He’s not going to cry over a handful of socks, he just isn’t. 

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/85fc86ded70d4153e992d03224108054/tumblr_inline_n9om4dngXI1r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

“Bit small for you, wouldn’t you say?” 

He smiles again, still crouched over the dresser. “Dunno,” he stands and turns, holding the socks in hand but not looking up to meet Louis’ gaze from the doorway. He speaks slowly, as always. “Got enough for five toes, think we can make it work.” 

Louis simply levels a gaze with him as he looks up. He’s already dressed, wearing his own black skinny jeans that fit like a dream and one of Harry’s white t-shirts, two sizes too big on him. Two colors, two pieces of clothing, and he’s still a vision. Harry feels his stomach twist, because he won't be seeing this gorgeous boy, his angel of a boyfriend, every morning like he's gotten used to. He pushes it down like rising bile, knowing the only relief would be to admit the inevitable, but he simply isn't ready yet.

Louis knows all about Tessa’s hiding habit, has even helped her with it in the past, as he’s admitted, but he doesn’t comment further. Instead, he just lifts a corner of his mouth in a soft flicker of a smile, eyes dancing over Harry’s mostly bare frame.

“Made some honey toast,” the smaller boy speaks up after they’ve stood there for what feels like an elongated eternity. “Care to join me?” 

Harry sets the bundle of socks on the duvet, pulling his bottom lip between his fingers in a way that he knows is a dead giveaway of how anxious he feels. Louis knows him too well to miss such a cue, but nervous habits die hard.

He reaches for a beanie to pull over his sleepy curls and shakes it off. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

~*~

It isn’t so much a  _goodbye_  as it is a  _see you later_ , and Harry hates the notion of that entirely.

“Can’t be all that bad,” Louis’ tentative voice resurfaces him from his thoughts. Apparently he’s been chewing for a noticeable amount of time. “Can it?”

He coughs into a fist, slightly startled. “No, no. Just drifted off there for a minute.” He swallows, the sweet taste of the honey almost too bright for the heavy feeling of lead in his stomach. “S’good, really good. Haven’t had anything but jam on my toast for a while now. It’s refreshing.”  _Nicely said, Styles_ , he thinks. 

Their conversations haven't been this stilted in over a year, not since Louis showed up to look after Tessa wearing a turtleneck on a fine-weathered September afternoon, before either of them had made a move. Before a certain November night which Harry has had marked subtly in his datebook for months. They'd both known what Louis had been hiding under his layers, and Harry had left in a rush, bidding him the excuse of having to run to the office last minute, all to escape the jealousy and confusion that had pooled in his stomach.

Louis seems to pick up on this tangent, probably due to the grimace that he hasn’t been able to mask. Louis sighs in a way that doesn’t sound like farewell. It sounds to Harry like he still thinks it’s early June, still thinks they have time. He finishes his last bite of toast with something between a pout and a genuine frown. It’s beginning to all feel like a gimmick now that they're on the precipice of something substantial, a tightrope with only two ways to fall.

Louis finishes the last of his orange juice and set his glass in the sink, movements slower now. Harry is leaning against the chrome stove front, arms crossed and looking down at the hardwood. There’s a mere three feet between them, but it might as well be miles.

Louis bounces his hip off the counter and crosses over to him, toe to toe. He traces his fingers down Harry’s arms until he untangles them from one another and winds their fingers together. He peeks up into Harry’s line of vision, tracing his fingers along the line of his frown before angling his head just right and leaning up to catch Harry’s lips in a kiss. It’s slow and steady, warm and full of something Harry's too cautious to accept. Louis kisses him now like he always does, and Harry can't decide if it's wrong. His lips taste like citrus and a bit of banana from the orange juice and Harry’s muffin that he’d snuck bites of. It’s sweet, and if they both weren’t aware of the fact that’s nearing 12:30, it might turn heated. They might both forget.

“I love you,” Louis says as he pulls away, crystal blue eyes peering up. Honest. “You know that, right?” When Harry doesn’t respond immediately his voice goes quieter. “Please tell me that you do.”

Harry breathes out and wraps his hands around Louis’ hips, drawing him in closer and taking it for all it’s worth. Louis makes a small squeak into his mouth in surprise, but melts into him as Harry continues to lick into his mouth, trying to put everything he has to say into one kiss. 

“I love you, too,” he says when they part for air. “And I know.”

They look into each other like that, and Louis squeezes his hand tight. Maybe there’s more to be said, but they only have a few seconds before Louis’ phone buzzes in his back pocket. 

“It’s Niall,” he says upon checking it. “Says he’s out front.”

Niall’s been around before, so Harry’s met him a few times. Well, he kind of had to considering he’s one of Louis’ oldest mates. He’s always got a snapback and smile on, always up for talking about rugby and having a beer. In early July they’d had him over along with Lauren, Josh and Greg, and a few guys from Harry’s work. Niall and Lauren had hit it off right away and have become kind of an on and off thing. He remembers it well because it’d been one of the first times Louis’ circle of friends had come to merge with his own. It’d felt so natural, like an honest step forward.

While all of that’s well and good, Harry can only seem to focus on the fact that Niall is the one driving Louis to a place away from  _here_. It’s such a stupid thing to be upset over, fuck, he’s an adult, this shouldn’t feel so enormous. It’s just that, well, that they’ll be rooming together. And it isn’t so much a jealousy thing as it is that he’s worried. He’s a bit out of his mind, to be completely honest.  

February is all a collage of memories now, though. However, that night under the lamp post had only been the beginning of the discussion. They’ve since worked out visiting schedules, when Louis will be on break, when Harry will be grounded, when Tessa will be home. They’ve worked out when Harry’s mum can come from Holmes Chapel to stay with Tessa while Harry’s up in the air. Train fare, time differences, you name it. 

Their families know, of course. It had been difficult for Louis to keep giving excuses as to why he would always be staying over at the Styles household. They had decided, after a few weeks of continuing on like that, that they had become something that couldn’t be kept under wraps. Their love is too loud to be muted. They’d given themselves until mid-March before speaking to them formally about it. They’d actually just come back from the Tomlinson household yesterday afternoon, having spent the two days prior giving Louis a proper uni send off. Louis’ childhood friend Stan had been there to give him the comically intimidating if-you-hurt-my-best-friend-i-will-bust-your-balls talk, which had left him feeling oddly more welcome into the larger circle of Louis’ life. Jay had kept sending subtle smiles in Harry's direction every time he’d reach for Louis’ hand, and it had felt like the sun was melting him from the inside out. It'd been wonderful, this whole week has been wonderful. It still doesn’t help this moment right here.

“Sure you have everything?”

Louis smiles, shaking his head a bit. “Now you sound like me.”

It feels like they’re dragging their feet towards the inevitable. He just wishes there wasn’t anywhere to go.

“Is this what it feels like, then?” He’s quieter than he’d like to be.

“What?”

“Saying goodbye.”

Louis’ eyes search his for a long moment. Harry can feel pieces of himself falling away like tree leaves in autumn. He’s never been very good at hiding himself.

Louis’ eyes search his. “It isn’t goodbye, Haz, you know that.”

Harry doesn’t have to say it, the  _it sure feels like it_  hangs in the air between them with a kind of venom that taints every breath. He feels like he’s sixteen and small again.

“I got everything important packed last week.” Louis steps back in again with a sigh, because Harry knows, he’d helped him pack. “Everything that’ll fit in my bag, anyway.” 

It’s stupid how easily that makes Harry’s stomach float, how fluidly the moment shifts back into place, dark skies forgotten and they’re kissing again. They’re kissing like this isn’t goodbye, maybe it’s more like it’s a promise. It feels like they don’t come up for air for hours, and Harry’s back is digging into the dials of the stove but he doesn’t care, doesn’t care about anything except for how his tongue curls around Louis’, how his hands fit perfectly on Louis’ waist like he’s always been meant to hold him.

Louis’ phone buzzes again, and they pull away for the second time.

When Louis walks out the door another five minutes later, Harry is still feeling the knobs of the stove dig into his back. His eyes drift shut, opening slowly to trace over the train ticket he has pinned under a Hello Kitty magnet on the fridge. It’s a promise for three weeks from now. 

He keeps telling himself this as he moves to go back upstairs. Somehow, he keeps himself from running out the door.

~*~

He’s flipping through  _Business Monthly_ , still wide awake,when he feels his phone vibrate under his thigh. It’s a twitter notification. He recently set one up thanks to Gemma. Even his nephew Isaac had approved his header, one of his hands chopping up a few fruits on the cutting board. He still commends himself for his artsy prowess. 

He isn’t as popular as Louis who has almost six hundred followers, but he likes the small community of coworkers and family members he’s built up. The little badge on his lockscreen is under Louis’ name handle, so he wastes no time in swiping it across and typing in his passcode.

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/8c444ac08baa6d898439dfcb7018efd1/tumblr_inline_n9oxuz0Odx1r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

He feels his chest contract, fill with longing and so many other pools of emotion that he can’t pin names to. He bites his lip and tweets his favorite picture from Louis' performance of _Grease_.

 

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/90cf96a2f5d8a0d861e70ce65d9460e9/tumblr_inline_n9oy6wIkJR1r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

He then finishes the night off by typing out a Five for Fighting lyric, hoping it can say what he can’t.

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/ffa8838e21429b048b5fb2bd38f239cb/tumblr_inline_n9oxwtkXIj1r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

_Chances are when said and done, who’ll be the lucky ones? Who make it all the way..._

~*~

**From: Lou Boo 10:47am**

_Saw yr tweet_

 

**To: Lou Boo 10:52am**

_Saw yours first_

 

**From: Lou Boo 10:54am**

_Yeah but_

_Urs are all cryptic n stuff_

_Makes my head hurt_  

  

**To: Lou Boo 10:57am**

_You make my head hurt_  

 

**From: Lou Boo 10:58am**

_In a good way? :(_

 

**To: Lou Boo 10:59**

_In the best way :)_

~*~

It’s his third night of moping alone in the house and eating Frosties for dinner when Harry finds the infamous poodle sock’s missing mate. 

It’s stuffed between the cushions of the rolling desk chair he keeps by the computer in the breakfast nook of the kitchen, it’s just a peek of pink between the plush black leather. After feeling a deadweight drop in his stomach at the sight of it, he sets down his bowl and spoon and slowly pulls it out. As it’s upside down when he gets it tugged out all the way, he nearly misses the flash of purple that drops between the crevices of the chair.

He fishes the sticky note out carefully, trying his best not to wrinkle it in his curiosity, noticing that it’s from Tessa’s pastel lavender tiara stationary. He recognizes the choppy scrawl of handwriting before he’s even unfolded it.

_See what I mean? I’m still with you. Love you now, loving you from Bristol, loving you always. xxxx L_

He tells himself it shouldn’t hurt, that it  _doesn’t_  because it  _shouldn’t_. He sticks it in his wallet, right next to Tessa’s baby photo, just in case.

~*~

The night Harry had grasped what it felt like to be in love, it had been raining. 

Well, more of a sleet, really, given the low temperatures. He’d just unplugged the fairy lights hanging over the sliding door that leads to the back patio, feeling a calm sink over his skin as the darkness of the night had settled like stones in a river. Slow at first, breaking the surface, then swirling to the bottom. Through the glass he’d been able to see the stars beginning to shine. 

It had been celestial, almost. The two people he loved more than the world had been upstairs and the sky was smiling at him. He’d felt like happiness could spark out of his fingertips. It’d been one of those moments he wishes he could posses, something to bottle up and bring back to his younger self, saying;  _just look how much there is waiting for you._

It had been the sound of a [guitar strumming](http://youtu.be/e8dgvZ-s8ts) that had brought him back. 

Low and careful, still learning. It had come from upstairs and Harry had known, had tilted his head back and let the sound drift down through the halls and echo through him. Louis had just started learning guitar from Niall, Harry didn’t mind a bit more melody around the house.

_“And meet me there, bundles of flowers,_

_we wait through the hours of cold.”_

He hadn’t been able to understand the slow rise in his stomach, like a tide rising. But it wasn’t pushing or pulling him, so then what was it? It had felt like resurfacing, like he hadn’t known how much he had been missing while holding his breath.

_“Winter shall howl at the walls,_

_tearing down doors of time.”_

Tessa had been asking for lullabies lately, not having outgrown the nights when Harry would come in to cradle her and hum her to sleep with soft songs. There must have been no resisting those doe eyes when Louis had gone up to tuck her in.

_“Who am I? Darling to ya, who am I?_

_Who am I?_

_Gonna tell you stories of mine.”_

Louis’ fingers had stumbled over the strings a few times, and Harry had strained to listen. He still hadn’t been able to understand why he’d felt like laughing and crying all at once.

_“Who am I? Darlin’ for ya, who am I?_

_Gonna be a burden, in time.”_

Tessa had been long gone by then, lost to the strum of the notes and the dance of Louis’ voice. Harry’d made his way to the bottom of the stairs.

The realization of it all had painted itself in graffiti lettering across his heart, vibrant lines spelling out everything he hadn’t known he’d been keeping locked within himself. Images from the years they’ve spent together had danced through his mind as his lips had twitched between a quiet gasp. 

Waking up to Louis every morning, going grocery shopping with him for one of Tessa’s birthday parties sometime in the future, kissing him to sleep, Christmas with their families. Holidays spent together in Harry’s favorite corners of the world, feeling like he’s never been to them before because he’s never been to them with  _Louis_  before. He wanted it all. 

 _“Who am I?”_ Louis had sung.

 _The love of my life_. Harry had silently answered.  _You’re the love of my entire life._

The song had finished off slowly, the plucking of the chords dying like the wind, a slow fade. He’d taken the steps one by one, body feeling drugged and heavy, up and up, down the left hallway to the door that had been ajar. 

Louis had been kissing Tessa on the forehead, pulling her blankets further up around her small frame. He’d set his guitar aside, propped against her windowsill, all soft movements as he’d kept his eye on her, careful not to wake her. It hadn’t been until he’d made it around the toy trunk at the foot of the bed that he’d turned to find Harry there. 

Harry still doesn’t know what his expression was in that moment, he couldn’t pinpoint anything else between the breaths he’d taken and the way Louis had crossed to him.  _I want to spend the rest of my life with you._ He’d pulled him against his chest before anything else, and Louis had come in easily. They’d slotted there together, his chin over Louis’ head, Louis’ arms wrapped around him tightly.  _You’re everything I’ve ever wanted._

Instead all he’d been able to whisper was a quiet  _thank_   _you_  into Louis’ hair. Instead of an answer, Louis had drawn back to kiss him, right there on the threshold of his daughter’s room. It had felt like another song. One they were singing together. 

Later that night, he had moved within Louis like the words were still trapped. 

Every slow drag of his hips, every moan against the smaller boy’s collarbone, and every one of Louis’ quiet whimpers had felt like they’d been drowning in one another. It had been when Harry’s hips had begun to stutter that Louis had breathed out the quietest of words.

_“Daddy.”_

It’s never been unusual that they’ll play with it, but sometimes just that word alone lets Harry know that Louis feels safe. It lets him know that he feels looked after and cared for. He always feels like he’s a mile high when he hears it, but it’s never been something they push each other for. 

Even back then, with the chill of late January, they had trusted each other so much. He had felt something break inside his chest, then. Like his heart was a dropped egg left splattered across the concrete.

“So good, angel. So lovely, Louis,  _god_.” He had sobbed as he’d fucked into him like his movements could say it all, his cock feeling the wonderful clenches of how tight Louis' body was, always is. “My best boy, you’re  _mine_.”

He’d never voiced it aloud before then, how possessive he feels over  _his_  boy, but he thinks that that night must have cut some final line he’d been holding. It’d been like the need for him to tell Louishad been just below the surface, finally thrumming through him without abandon and engulfing him, dragging him down while also pulling him to the surface. He needed Louis to know that he had him.

Louis had let out a breath like it’d been punched from him, and his hands had scrambled for more of a purchase over Harry’s skin. “Yours, Daddy.” His voice had been so quiet, so close and Harry could feel it in the shallow, fluttering clenches around his cock, in the weakness of his grip on his biceps. “Only yours,  _oh_."

The soft squeak of Louis’ voice had sent him hurtling over the edge. He’d drawn back just enough in time to look Louis in the eyes before coming hard; feeling like if he could die in a moment, it would have been then, with Louis’ gaze looking back at him with more trust than he ever felt he could deserve.

He’d fucked himself through it, orgasm lasting so long with Louis’ words  _yours yours yours_ playing on loop in his head. Louis, with his gorgeous smile and subtle curves and snarky laugh. Louis, with his worried fingernails, moody Tuesday nights and his refusal to wear socks except for the fuzzy footie slippers he would always scuttle around the house in. Louis, with a heart too big for even Harry’s frequent flier miles to span, was  _his_. His hips had faltered like they’d been running on abbreviated time and he’d sobbed into the junction of Louis’ neck, seeing the stars smile at him again from the backs of his eyelids.

Louis had followed seconds after with a soft whimper of “ _Harry,_ ” the flush spreading from his neck down to his chest had been burning warmly against Harry’s cheek. As Louis’ hole had fluttered around his slowly softening cock, he’d kissed the heat of his skin, murmuring sweet things into the fine hairs at the nape of his neck for a long while, trying to come back to himself. 

"I love you," he'd breathed the words, for the first time, right into Louis' ear, breathing more controlled but heart still racing. "I love you so fucking much, Louis,  _god_."

Louis' fingers had tugged at his curls to draw him back, eyes searching and watery.  _Christ_ , Harry can still hardly believe that such a memory is real

"I love you, too." Harry had never heard a more gorgeous string of words in his entire life. "Harry, you're, you're  _everything_  to me."

Louis' voice had broken and so had Harry, he’d felt a few hot tears well up in his eyes and spill over. Louis had smiled and choked out something between a laugh and a sob as he’d brushed Harry’s curls out of his eyes. It had felt like the whole world could have been up in flames, but he'd have been just fine right then, with his daughter fast asleep upstairs and the boy he loved telling him he loved him right back. 

They had kissed like everything was ending, when looking back now, he can see it had only been the start of it all. 

~*~

Tonight, he falls asleep with the words he’s said a thousand times burned onto his tongue. They claw against his chest like birds in a cage, but this time there’s no boy for him to whisper them to. He's left with only the sound of a slight breeze through the trees and cold pillow clutched between his arms.

He knows there are worse things for two people in love. He and Louis just finished texting each other goodnight twenty minutes ago, and there’s a voicemail he has saved of just Niall’s snoring because Louis had taken his own measures to prove just what kind of nonsense he was dealing with.

But tonight, instead of pretending it will pass easily, he lets it in, and he remembers. There are worse things, but tonight, Harry has this.

~*~ 

Louis calls him when he’s just gotten out of a meeting with a table full of CEO’s. 

He absolutely nailed his presentation and he’s over the fucking moon, he’s  _so_  getting promoted and it’s what he’s been gunning for for over a year. He’s one step closer. 

“Babe?” He answers upon hearing Louis’ self-designated Celine Dion ringtone. Once upon a time Louis hadn’t taken too kindly to seeing him all weepy over a certain Mr. DiCaprio. (Read: “I’m the only one you’ll be steaming up a car with, Styles.”)

“Hey, Haz.” He hears and the tension in his lower back ebbs a bit.

“Hi, love.” He smiles to himself, but Louis can probably hear it over the line. 

“How,” Louis clears his throat in a nervous way Harry can only deam as cute. Louis is always cute. “How are you?”

 _Lonely._ He thinks, but doesn’t say. “Brilliant!” He tries instead. “Just finished my pitch with the board, they absolutely loved it, said they’d like to invest right away.” 

The Promotion Plan, as he’s named it, is top secret. Before they had gotten together he hadn’t exactly been hiding it, he’d left all kinds of pie charts and paperwork around the house. But once he and Louis had become an item he’d decided it would make for the best surprise ever, and probably make for even better office sex in the top level suite he’d be moved up to. Regardless, all he can think right now is  _god, I’m so happy to hear your voice._

“H, that’s so wonderful!” He feels like he’s been starved for the sound of Louis’ voice over the past week, even though they’ve talked at length every day. “Really, babe, so proud of you. Knew you could win ‘em over, you always do.”

“Thank you,” he grins proudly, preening a bit under the praise. “So, how are you? How’s the flat?” He’s frantic for details, having sworn off asking until he was sure they’d been settled. He’s just reached the parking garage and presses unlock on the keys to the company Porsche.

“It’s good, good! Y’know,” there’s some shuffling in the background, someone dropping something heavy and a loud clanging of metal. “Just, uh, getting sorted.”

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“The sound of an anvil being dropped.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Louis…”

He hears a sigh. “The flat is what I called to talk to you about.”

He sets his shoulder bag in the boot and closes it soundly. He leans back, looking out across the rows of concrete pillars of the garage, giving himself a breath before answering. “Alright.”

“The landlord that sold it to us failed to mention the extensive water damage.” There’s another clang and he can hear Niall shouting, ‘ _goddamn it all, Aiden! that was me fucking foot!’_

“Water damage? Shit that sucks.” He remembers his days renting out shitty flats with Liam, all the repairs they’d had to do themselves. Luckily, Liam’s now sitting as VP for one of the largest technology firms in all of London, and Harry himself has enough in the bank to send Tessa through Oxford three times over with a bit to spare. They’ve both made it through moderately unscathed. “Who’s Aiden?” he asks without thinking.

“Niall’s mate, he lives downstairs,” Louis answers. 

“Oh?” he responds, feeling a pinprick of something similar to jealousy fire up in his stomach.

“He’s nobody, Haz,” Louis assures him, his voice sounding half amused and half genuine. Harry can practically hear his eyes rolling. A voice he doesn’t recognize that must belong to Aiden calls, ‘ _I’ll remember that next time you need laundry detergent, Tomlinson!_ ’

“Doesn’t sound like nobody to me.”

Another sigh. “He and his girlfriend fuck all hours of the night, if that makes you feel any better.”

Harry plays coy. “Well, it wasn’t like I was  _inferring-_ ”

“We both know damn well that you were,” Louis says, but there’s no bite to it.

“I don’t share well.” He’s trying not to pout, really he is. “Especially when it’s you.”

“I know,” Louis says. “But the feeling goes both ways.”

“What does that even mean?” It’s not as if Jim the gardener who comes twice a month is much of a threat. 

“It means keep that damn secretary of yours out of your office.” 

“Barbara?” He barks a laugh into the receiver.

“I saw the way she was eying you in that YSL suit of yours last month at the charity gala.” Louis sounds serious enough for Harry to know that he’s still toying with him.

“Well there’s a fat chance, love.” He smiles. “Although she did invite me to her granddaughter’s open house a couple weekends from now, said her grandson-in-law needed some healthy competition.”

“You’re busy.”

Harry scoffs in mock surprise. “Oh, am I?” 

“Yeah.”

“With what, exactly?”

“Being a good father and spending every waking moment with your daughter,” Louis says, and Harry’s heart is a mess in his chest. He misses their still-budding family. He misses his daughter, wishes he could pick her up and kiss her on the forehead. He wishes they were all together again.

“Ah yes, here it is,” he pushes on, pretending to bring out his schedule, even doing the motion with his hands even though Louis can’t see him. What can he say? His boy’s got him all worked up. “9am to 9pm, mhmm, looks like I’m completely booked with a certain miss Tessa Styles.” He keeps playing along. “Shame, I was really looking forward to comparing bedspreads and pillow cases.”

Louis actually  _growls_ over the phone.

“Alright, alright! Fair deal.” He caves in. They’re both jealous fiends when it comes to one another, Louis just takes a bit of coaxing to show his true colors. “So what’s this with your construction zone of a flat, then? Think I might like to see you in nothing but one of them orange vests.”

“Ah yeah, I’m sure that’d get you off, seeing me get a rash from the same material they make safety cones out of.” 

“Don’t knock it till you try it.”

“ _Harold_.”

“Go on.”

“What I’m trying to get at is that I don’t think your visit next week will work.”

Harry feels his heart sink, the smile on his lips slowly fading. “Oh.”

“Hey, no, no.” He hears Louis rushing to come back into his head. “It’s only because we’ll be having a few professionals come in to fix what we can’t, it’s gonna be a mess. That’s why I wanna propose an alternative.”

He clears his throat at the word  _propose_. Time and place, right. “Alright, what is it?”

“Remember how we planned it so that I could have a couple days gap before classes start after I got settled this week?”

Harry gives a confirming noise to let him know that he does. 

“Well, I figure with how this settling in is taking longer than expected, I can switch my gap of free days to earlier, and finish working on the flat with the lads up until classes start. That way I thought maybe I could come and meet Tessa with you at the airport as a surprise!” He sounds excited about the idea, and Harry agrees, Tessa will be thrilled. Louis is her favorite person, except for maybe when Harry bakes her treats. He’s smiling and scrubbing a hand over his face without realizing that he hasn’t responded. “If… that’s okay with you? I know you like to pick her up yourself when she’s been away for a long while…”

“Fuck, no! Of course I want you there.” Harry rushes to state. “Sorry, I was just.”

“Caught up in it?” Louis finishes.

“Yeah,” he breathes. 

“Me too,” he hears Louis say, and the way he says it settles him.

His smile creeps back and he steps around to the driver side and gets in, leaning back into the comfortable seat. “Yeah, okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I think she’d love that.” He says. “I would love that.”

Louis’ voice sounds like relief. “I’m sorry, about the train ticket, and next week.”

“It’s okay, Lou,” he says, honestly. “Just means I’ll get to see the finished product eventually.”

Louis’s quiet for a minute and he must be stepping into another room, because the working noise becomes less prominent. “Can’t wait till we can give Aiden a run for his money.”

Harry’s stomach flushes with heat. He huffs out an indignant breath. “Fuck, yeah we will.”

Silence stretches between them and he can hear Louis slide down against a wall. Their breathing muffles the receiver and thank fuck his car is the only one on this level of the garage because he can feel himself beginning to get a bit tight in his trousers. 

“Not the same without you, y’know,” he hears. “Harder to reach.”

Harry swallows loudly, hand slipping on the phone and he has to hold the wheel to steady himself even though the car isn’t moving. “Louis I, we can’t, I’m about to head to another meeting, I have to pick up clients-”

“Mmm, too bad.” Louis’s got the teasing tone of his voice in gear,  _shit_. “Was just starting to get hard.”

“ _Louis_.” 

“Harry,” Louis states back at him.

“Are you in a closet?”

“Cleaning cabinet, actually.” Louis tells him, and Harry can hear him shifting around, clearing things aside. “But I appreciate the symbolism, thanks.”

Harry laughs quietly. “Were you getting at something a moment ago?”

“Well I was,” Louis says. “But then my idiot boyfriend decided he was too busy to have a go.”

“Hmm, yeah, sounds pretty idiotic to me.”

“I agree,” Louis tries for an unaffected tone, but Harry can tell that he’s gotten a hand around himself by the upturn in his tone. He wants to play.

He just hums for a moment, letting Louis ride out the wait before Harry decides to just fuck it. “Well, get on with it, then.”

“Really?” Louis sounds like he genuinely didn’t think Harry would give in. 

“Yeah, baby,” he tells him, using the pet name as a signal. “Wanna get you off.”

 Louis hisses before diving right in. “Haven’t even got a real bed set up yet, we’ve all still got our mattresses on the floor.” The sound of his quiet breathing is fogging Harry’s ears. “But when everyone was asleep that first night I fucked myself so good, Haz.”

He groans. “You didn’t.”

“I did.” Louis’ voice is breathy in a way that’s all too familiar, and far too far away. “Kept wanting your hands all over me, kept remembering what your fingers feel like, wishing it was yours that were inside me.”

“Shit.” He’s gotten his belt undone and his pants down to his knees without hardly even registering it. 

“Niall was snoring so loud, nobody could hear me working in and out of myself.” 

What the  _fuck_ did he do to deserve this? A fleeting memory flits into his thought process, one involving waking up to a recording of a certain someone whining into his ear and whispering his name. “That voicemail you left?”

“Mhmm,” Louis hums. “Was just about to come when I dialed your number.”

It’s all he can do to keep from bucking up into his grip and finishing right here and now. “Yeah?” He palms himself slowly, trying to take the edge off but it only makes him harder, visualizing Louis desperate for him. “Must’ve been so,  _mmpf_ , so hard to keep quiet.”

“Couldn’t,” Louis breathes. “Kept making all those little sounds you like, kept saying your name.” Harry’s heart is starting to pick up speed in his chest. “Almost came from just one.”

Harry groans and bites his lip hard. His hand is dry but he works over himself anyway, too wrapped up in Louis’ voice to take notice. He feels his demeanor begin to shift in that way he can never quite pinpoint. “But you didn’t, did you, baby?”

“No, Daddy.”

“ _Fuck_ , Lou.”

Louis whines, and Harry knows he’s pleased with himself. “Got myself up to three, but I couldn’t get there." He hears him gulp, voice taking on the smaller lilt that Harry has come to associate with his mindset when they’re playing. “Not as good as you.”

He’s working himself faster now, turned on without abandon, without a concern for the fact that anyone could walk by and look in if they wanted. It’s like he’s back in his master bedroom at home, getting off to the thought of Louis for the very first time. “Missed my  _uh_ , my mouth, angel? Missed my cock?”

“God yes,” Louis nearly  _whimpers,_  and Harry’s dick twitches and spills a few small spurts of precome onto his fingers. “Missed your voice.”

Harry’s thumb catches over the slit of his cock and his hips twitch forward, needing Louis’ hips to hold his down.

“Am I gonna make Daddy come? All over his nice clothes, in his fast car?” Christ, he loves it when Louis gets like this, trying to take control but they both know full well he just wants Harry to mouth over him and make him come apart. Harry wishes so badly right now that he could. “Didn’t mean to be bad. Just wanted Daddy to want me, too.”

“Always want you, Lou. Haven’t been bad t’all, you’re doing so well.” He responds on instinct, it’s one of the aspects of this that startled him at first. How he knew just how to react without ever being told, how his words can amount to so much for Louis when they go farther with it. He knows they’re playing now though, Louis’ voice is still teasing. “Making me feel so nice, even without being here. Always so good. I’m close, so hard, baby, all because of you.”

“Wanna hear it,” Harry hears him whine. “Please.”

Louis’s tack on of  _please_ sends him into a tizzy, has him pumping himself hard and fast. Louis is making quiet whimpering noises over the line, and the receiver  _must_  be picking up on the sound of his hand on his cock, too, and that’s it. His orgasm bubbles to the surface and catches him breathless as he tries his best to keep all of his come in his palm before it can drip down. All he can catch in the haze of it is that he’s mumbling Louis’ name. Louis is hiccuping with little breaths and with a small noise Harry knows he’s finished as well.

“D’you come, baby?” He breathes hoarsely, dropping his head back against the headrest as his head spins. Louis doesn’t respond right away, for a moment there’s only quiet breathing on the line. “Lou?”

“Y-yeah,” Louis stammers slightly. “Messy.”

Harry feels a thrill run up his spine, feels like a fucking  _champ_ , is the thing. He’s got his beautiful boyfriend on the other end of the line with a handful of come, Harry made him come with just his voice alone, and fuck, Louis even went a little under.  _Daddy_. And he’s sitting here in a nice car, and in the rush of it all there are no roadblocks in his mind. “Lick it all up for me.”

Louis’ quiet again for a long moment, and Harry thinks maybe in his power drunk stupor he might’ve overstepped, but then-

“Daddy?”

“Right here, baby.” He answers without hesitation. “Wanna hear you clean yourself up, okay?”

“Yeah,” Louis responds, voice a bit higher and  _eager_. Then it’s quiet except for the sound of Louis’ lips working over his fingers, sucking and slurping at a hushed volume. Louis makes a few contented sounds that Harry can’t pin as intentional or accidental. Harry’s cock twitches weakly and he has no fucking clue how he got so lucky.

“Good boy,” he breathes, sagging his shoulders and calming down, or trying to, anyway. 

After they come to back to the ground for a few silent moments, Louis starts breathing more evenly, even giggling quietly. Harry lets out a few dumbstruck laughs, eyes on the ceiling and left hand still weakly holding his phone.

“Guess we’re even.” Louis sighs into his ear.

“Yeah,” Harry just shakes his head weakly. “I guess we are.”

The  _I miss you_ ’s hang in the air above them both.

~*~

Niall calls around half seven the next evening, just as Harry’s stepping out of the shower.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mate.” Niall responds.

“Hey, Ni,” he says, it’s odd cross of feelings, hearing from Niall. Like he’s glad on Niall’s call list, because Niall is connected to Louis, might even be with him right now, actually. But also, he’s just genuinely happy to have someone wanting to chat with him. It’s a nice change of pace from his usual quiet nights in lately. “You good?”

“Yeah, good, good!” Niall tells him. 

“Good, then.” Harry rubs a towel through his hair. “What’s up?”

“Ah, dunno.” Niall laughs, and there’s a bit of muted conversation on the other end of the line. Something dull in Harry’s stomach pulls with longing. “Just wanted to give ya a call, figured it’d be good of me, y’know, in case you had any questions or were feelin’ put off t’all.” Niall pauses. “Just, thought about what it must be like for you, and all.”

That gives him pause, and his eyes glance over to a few of the pictures he’s got taped to the bathroom mirror. Or, rather, that Louis had taped there. A grainy one of Louis with cake on his cheeks, pulling a funny face at Harry who had been behind the camera. One of them both with Tessa in the park, Louis standing up on a swing and holding the chains to stay upright as Harry pushes Tessa from behind on a swing of her own. One of Louis on his tiptoes, wrapped up in Harry’s arms and kissing him square on the lips, eyes closed and smiling into it.

He closes his eyes from them and turns around to lean back against the counter, taking a breath. 

“You still there?” Niall asks, sounding like maybe he understands.

“Did something happen?” Harry means to contain it as a thought, but apparently his mouth has other ideas. “What made you think to call?”

Niall’s quiet for a moment, and the voices in the background on his end of the line fade. “He’s good, y’know, it’s like, I can tell he really loves the city and the campus.” Niall huffs a laugh. “He’s not really quiet when he likes something, y’know?” Niall clears his throat when Harry doesn’t respond, only nodding silently in understanding. “Well, except when it comes to you, I suppose.”

Harry’s eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?”

“Harry, I’ve known him since I was nine.” Niall’s voice doesn’t sound upset, just thoughtful. Harry’s crossing to the end of the bed as he pulls on a pair of boxers. “And I’ve never seen him get as holed up as when someone brings you up.”

What does that  _mean_? “In a bad way?”

“No! Christ, no.” Niall snorts, like it’s ridiculous, Harry crosses over into the bedroom to sit on the mattress, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, sometimes, I dunno if it’s bad, but like after you call he’ll curl up on his bed - y’know we haven’t even got our bed frames set up yet? it’s bullshit - and he’ll get all quiet and look through pictures on his phone.” Harry’s heart  _hurts,_ fuck. “But no, I mean when Savannah - that’s Aiden’s girlfriend - asked him the other day where he got his jumper the other day, and it was all huge on him so I knew it was yours, he told her it was his boyfriend’s but when she asked  _who_ you were, he just.”

Harry feels his muscles bunch. “He just  _what_ , Niall?”

“Well, he did the thing, you know.”

It only takes Harry a handful of seconds to latch onto which of Louis’  _things_ Niall is referencing, and an even shorter amount of time to picture it. “The fidgety thing?”

Niall laughs. “Yeah, the happy one.”

Harry can’t keep from picturing the blush that creeps up in Louis’ cheeks when he gets like that, how he always burrows into Harry’s shoulder, giggles quietly until Harry tickles him and hugs him tight. God, he loves his boy so much.

“I miss him,” he says, like he’s letting the air out of his tires. Saying it aloud to someone else is such a release. He forces his words around the lump in his throat. “I miss him so much, Niall, god.”

“I figured,” Niall says, and Harry thinks he can maybe hear his knowing smile from here, all the way from London. 

“What’s he doing now?” Harry had called him early in the afternoon when Louis had been walking to the bakery down the street from their flat, but that was  _hours_ ago. He reaches over to the nightstand takes off his watch, picking up Louis’ sock note that he’s been keeping there so he can trace the bumps of his handwriting.

“Organizing his class binders.” Niall scoffs. “He’s a proper nerd, you know.”

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/4fe5ffc6ec339e9c1fd556954ab72601/tumblr_inline_n9onldSEv21r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

Harry lays back on the sheets, smiling up at the ceiling. “I know.”

“You two are something else, I’ll give you that.”

Harry shakes his head, throwing an arm over his eyes and feeling himself relax. “I’ll be visiting you guys soon, but he’s coming to surprise Tessa when she flies in the day after next.” 

Niall hums. “Sounds like you’re making it work, then.” He says approvingly. 

Harry nods in agreement. “Look out for him, won’t you, Ni?”

“Why d’ya think I called you?” Niall asks, as though it's obvious. As though there isn't a forest fire catching flame under Harry's skin. “He’s my best mate. It’s what I do.”

~*~

“Yes, absolutely, uh huh.” Harry listens patiently as Liam wraps up his sixth phone call since Harry’s been sat across from his at his desk. “Toby, I make the final call, and I am telling you that the deal is concrete, end of story. Now, I have some other work to finish, as I’m sure you can understand.”

Harry tries his best not to chuckle and fails. Liam’s never been all that savvy when it comes to hiding his irritation. 

“Yes, the same to you, all right.” Liam sets the phone down with a satisfying  _clunck_. He rubs between his eyebrows and takes a deep breath before speaking again. “Linda?”

“Yes, Mr. Payne?” Liam’s secretary calls through the open door behind Harry.

“First of all,” he sighs, like this is a daily monologue, “it’s Liam for fucks sake, we’ve been over this, I’m still under thirty, you can at least give me that.” Harry is crying into his shirtsleeve at this point, Liam gives him a paused look halfway through his diatribe and starts laughing softly as well, eyes crinkling in a comfortable way. “Secondly,” Liam continues with a huff, “please call Toby at the travel agency and confirm with him about our tickets, it’s our anniversary and I want it all to go off without a hitch.”

“But… weren’t you just on the phone with him?” Linda asks hesitantly.

“That was Toby the  _consultant_ , Christ, Linda,” Liam swears.

“Oh! Yes, well, right away, then Mr., um, Mr. Liam,” Linda calls back again, sounding frazzled.

Liam mutters something under his breath about incompetence and the overuse of hairspray. Harry has missed spending time with him. 

“Vacation plans with the other half?” Harry quirks an amused eyebrow, leaning back in his chair and stretching his legs a bit. Despite both of them wearing formal suits, it’s all casual between them. Harry’s seen Liam hurling into the toilet after a night out a few too many times to keep up any kind of a front. 

“Yeah, Fiji.” Liam smiles tiredly. “Been looking at private bungalows for months now. Zayn’s kept these magazine clippings of all the places he wants to travel under the bed in a shoebox ever since I’ve known him. You know the one.” Harry nods fondly. Both Liam and Zayn have always been driven in reaching for their career goals, but when it comes down to it, they’re both secretly saps. They love treating one another. 

“Well, good for you guys, think it’ll do you both a bit of good.”

“Yeah, we’re excited.” Liam grins. “Zayn’ll be done for a bit, the new line is set to be out in stores by October. They’re saying the shoot he just did will have a spread up in Times Square, can you believe it?”

“Our old Zayn, the front face of Calvin Klein.” Harry shakes his head, he honestly can’t believe how far all of them have come sometimes. He remembers the three of them toasting to Zayn landing his first contract with a small online shop, back when Liam was interning for the second time, at the very same company he’s sitting Vice President for now. Back when Harry was about to jet off to Seattle for the first time, still just dipping his toes in.

Liam nods with a proud gleam in his eyes before pouring himself a glass of water. “So.” He takes a sip. “What brings you to my office in shambles, then? I highly doubt you came all the way across town just to listen to me go through my entire contact list of phone calls.”

“Well.” He clears his throat and sits up a bit straighter. “I know you have your annual conference in Zürich coming up.”

“Mhmm.” Liam nods.

“My next conference is in Los Angeles, in a week, so I would go over and see to it myself, I wish I could, it’s just with everything that’s happening this week already-”

“What do you need, Harry?” Liam interrupts. “You know I’ll pick it up, it’s no problem, what is it?”

“A ring,” Harry blurts, like his chest isn’t compacting. Like he isn't sitting dead center in the eye of a hurricane, just waiting to step into the storm.

Liam stares back at him, and there’s silence for a long moment in which the only sound to be heard is Linda’s distant voice talking on the phone. 

“Wow,” Liam states finally. “Well, I owe Zayn fifty quid, then.”

“Excuse me?” Not exactly the response Harry had been expecting. 

“Oh,” Liam laughs, looking caught. “Well, we um, we took a bet on when we’d first start hearing about this. Z said by the end of the summer, I said around your one year anniversary.”

Harry just gapes at him for a moment, because in either scenario he ends up proposing. He ends up marrying Louis. Both of his best friends knew he would move along with this.

“It’s not a bad thing!” Liam defends himself in Harry’s silence.

“No, I know! It’s just.” Harry shakes his with a smile. “You knew without me ever telling you, and, god. I wanna marry him so badly, Li, but... I want to get there in our own time.”

“I’m... not sure I’m following?” Liam says, and Harry takes a minute to look out through the large windows that make up one of the walls of Liam’s office. He can see the beginnings of the sunset gleaming off the top of The Gherkin.

“I just, I dunno if he feels ready for that? If either of us are, honestly.” Harry feels like he should probably speak the thoughts that have been clogging his mind since late last year. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, especially in the time that he’s been gone, and I think maybe, a promise ring.” 

Liam’s quiet, but he nods.

“Tessa knows, to an extent, of course. She knew before either of us did, I think." Harry shakes his head. "Y'know the first time I held Lou's hand in front of her, just testing the waters, right? Y'know what she says? She goes-"

"Are Daddy's hands like mittens for yours?" Liam supplies, with a warm look in his eyes. "I know, Harry, she asked that to Louis. And she wondered if she could finally give Louis the beanie she knitted that matched the ones she made for you 'n her."

Harry feels his stomach curl as his smile turns his lips. "Yeah, that's right." He remembers for a moment, and then dives back into what he was saying before. "It's just, Lou and I properly getting married and going through the whole process is a big step, not just for us, but for her."

Liam crosses his hands behind his neck and stretches, nodding as he looks like he agrees with the statement.

Harry continues. "Last time I was in Zürich I passed this shop called  _Lucian’s._  I stopped in to have a look, and there was this ring there that just, I saw it and I knew how it would look on his finger, I knew it was perfect, but.”

“But?” Liam prods.

“That was back in February, right after he’d first told me about Bristol.”

“Ah,” Liam sighs, and the look in his eyes says that he’s feeling a bout of sympathy. Harry’s not sure he likes it, but decides not to dwell on it for the time being. “Right. How is he liking it there?”

“Well,” Harry recalls his talk with Niall, feeling a pull in his stomach. “He loves the city.”

“Harry…” 

“He loves the city, and he’s excited for his courses to start but, Li, I miss him so much.” Telling someone for a second time doesn’t have quite the same effect as the first, now it only feels helpless. “I’m seeing him tomorrow, so that’s all good, well, great actually. But I think, from what Niall has told me, he misses me too.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?” Liam finishes his water and sets his glass aside.

“I just–” He lets his shoulders drop. “It’s hard, I guess. That’s how I’d sum it up. It’s just hard because it doesn’t end after just this one year. But this is so important for him, this university will open so many doors for his future. I can’t be anything but supportive.” He lets himself breathe. “We’ve talked it through, just not what it means for the future,  _our_ future.”

“Then, if you’re asking for my opinion,” Liam says with a pause, and Harry nods, “I think the ring is a good step.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, but, Harry,” Liam’s voice is urging him to look up at him, so he does. “Talk with him about it, okay? About your future together, that’s something that can’t be left up in the air.”

“I know.” He nods, eyes dropping again. When did Liam become his fatherly advice figure? “I want to, I just, I always feel like I want to be careful with him.”

“Maybe it’s time you weren’t,” Liam says. “Honesty is always a good thing, it leaves room for progress, in whichever direction it may lead. He loves you, Harry, and he isn’t going to break.”

Harry takes a deep breath through his nose. “When did you get so smart about this stuff, Payne?”

“Maybe after I had to pick your sorry arse up off your couch after you’d gotten drunk over this boy for the ninth time.” Harry grimaces, but Liam’s lips quirk with a small smile, he’s more fond than resentful. “Zayn might’ve helped a bit, as well.”

“Figures,” Harry sighs, and Liam laughs. They both know what Harry went through the months before a certain night in November came around, he was a mess of heartbreak and longing, and it wasn’t fair to anyone. But they’re on the other side of it now, progress through honesty. Right.

“There’s only a forty percent chance you’ll believe me, but I suppose it’s worth a shot.” Liam muses after they’ve settled with silent smiles again. “The way he looks at you, Haz. It’s like he’s seeing the moon for the first time, I swear. Everything with Bristol, I’m sure if you’re torn between the pros and cons of the situation, just imagine what he’s going through.”

Harry’s quiet, it’s a dull concept that’s been sitting on the back shelf of his mind. It’s a flaw he recognizes in himself, that he hasn’t dusted it off and fully considered it yet.

“That’s why I’m supportive of this, even though you’re hurting now,” Liam speaks further. “Because at the end of the day, he makes you happy, and from what I’ve seen, you make him just the same. That’s how you know it’s supposed to last, that’s how you know you have to fight for it.”

Harry nods, feeling a slight blush over his skin. “I hope he thinks so, too.”

Liam smiles at him with something unnameable in his eyes. Harry thinks maybe it’s something like pride, but he can’t be too sure.

“So what’s this ring look like, then?” Liam asks. 

Harry gives it a beat, and picks up a pen.

~*~

**From: Lou Boo 12:03am**

_Niall’s snoring >:(_

_He’s sleep tlking abt Hawaiian pizza again Haz_

 

**From: Lou Boo 12:07am**

_Update: I thnk it might be a wet dream :o_

_Ham and pineapple are not THAT great together !_

 

**To: Lou Boo 12:08am**

_Oh noooooo :(_

_Hahahha maybe put on some tropical music and he’ll finish and be done w it_

  

**From: Lou Boo 12:10am**

_I think he already did…_

 

**To: Lou Boo 12:11am**

_Oh my god_

_Please tell me you recorded it_

 

**From: Lou Boo 12:11am**

_Of course I did_

_Who do u think you’re talking to here_

  

**To: Lou Boo 12:12am**

_My boooooooyyyyy_

_Tht’s who :)_

 

**From: Lou Boo 12:13am**

_U mushie_

_Can’t wait to see you tomorrow_

_Or… today I guess_

 

**To: Lou Boo 12:14am**

_Miss you_

 

**From: Lou Boo 12:14am**

_Miss you too :(_

_Love you_

  

**To: Lou Boo 12:15am**

_Love you too :)_

_Tessa’s flight lands at 3_

_Come home a little early maybe?_

  

**From: Lou Boo 12:16am**

_Now whatever would I do that for? ;)_

 

**To: Lou Boo 12:17am**

_Wanna hear all about everything!!_

_And I also wanna touch you a lot_

  

**From: Lou Boo 12:19am**

_Thinking of your daughter’s well being by keeping the PDA to a minimum_

_You kno how hot that gets me harold_

  

**To: Lou Boo 12:20am**

_As soon as she knows you’re here I won’t get a single second w you and u know it :)_  

 

**From: Lou Boo 12:20am**

_She’s a lovely menace_

_You ve raised her well :)_  

 

**To: Lou Boo 12:21am**

_We, Lou_

_We’ve raised her well_

~*~

Harry’s always been a nervous tidier, despite the fact that he has infrequent helpers to do it for him. He finds a state of calm in the repetition and process of it. He’s gotten all the bathrooms clean, the kitchen scrubbed down to its now sparkling state, and all of the carpets vacuumed in a matter of two hours. He’s got Tessa’s favorite strawberry cheesecake cupcakes baking in the oven, turkey meatballs simmering on low in a red sauce, and he’s recorded the entire Harry Potter weekend on the DVR, so they’re set for this evening. He’s been listening to a music video playlist as he works, but as the next track comes in and he hears Beyonce and Drake singing  _Mine_  together, he decides that that probably isn’t helping anything and shuts it off. He stows the Windex and paper towels under the sink and heads up to Tessa’s room to sort out her bedding.

Tessa’s room is a modgepodge of different pastel colors, her favorite being mint green. Her twin size bed is already set and fluffed, but Harry considers remaking it anyway, just to be sure. He reaches out to feel the lace on one of the throw pillows, eyes glancing over the stack of books piled on the window sill, over the drawings she’d pinned to the ribbon clothes line Harry had put up in the spring. He sees one watercolor and marker rendition of himself, Tessa, and Louis, and he exhales, allowing himself to sit on the bed.

The drawing is of the three of them blowing bubbles, Louis and Tessa are both blowing into bubble wands and Harry’s feet are captured in a cloud of bubbles so that he’s floating above them both, looking happy with a smile on his face and a thumbs up. 

He’s so ready to have them both home.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and at first he thinks it’s just a text, but then it vibrates again, and then again. He picks up just before it cuts to voicemail, having to dig it awkwardly out of his front pants pocket.

“Hello?” He answers without checking who’s calling.

“Oh good, I thought I was gonna have to leave a message.” 

“Cece?” He has to admit, he hadn’t been expecting a call from her any time soon. She typically only chooses to phone him when there’s something wrong or if her bank account needs a lift. “What happened? Is she alright?”

“God, Harry, she’s fine, fine, honestly,” Cece responds. “Can’t I ever call without you jumping to conclusions? I am her mother after all, I do know how to get her onto a plane in one piece.”

Harry shakes his head at the falsehood of that statement, but he sighs out in shallow relief, leaning back against one of the tall posts of Tessa’s bed. “Well, how are you, then?” He bites back the question of how much money she needs this time.

“Oh, I’m good, really.” Her voice is a bit labored, and he can hear her set something heavy down with a thump. “Just, wanted to call and um, talk about something.”

“Oh?” The last time a conversation between them started off this way, Harry had ended up on a plane to JFK in New York, having to pick up his daughter from Gemma who had conveniently been visiting a friend in the city for the weekend. Cece had failed to pay Delta airlines’ unaccompanied minor fee for the full extent of Tessa’s journey home, ever since then he’s been worried sick whenever she flies.

“You and that Louis fellow still together?”

They’ve always made it a priority to inform one another of any partners that they’re serious about for Tessa’s sake. Stability has always been of the highest value when it comes to who either of them date, because jetting back and forth is one thing, Harry had set the rule in the first place. Her question is still a bit unexpected. “Yes. We are.”

“How’s that going?” There’s no bitterness in her voice. And there is no reason for there to be, in the first place. Aside from Harry’s annoyance towards Cece’s incompetence in the care and safety of his daughter, there’s no tension between them. They lead peacefully separate lives.

That still doesn’t explain her sudden curiosity. “We’re very happy together… why do you ask?”

She pauses, and then sighs. “Because I need to know if you two are a sure thing.” Harry’s mind is flicking through different reactions like a shutter snapping open and closed. “I need to know that I’m making the right decision.” 

“Making the right,” he repeats. “ _What_ decision is being made?”

“Robert got transferred for his job,” she says. “To Phoenix.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “Phoenix?”

“Arizona, Harry.”

“I know where bloody Phoenix is, Cece.”

“Right, of course you do,” she says flippantly. “Enhancing your geography knowledge is not the reason I called.” She huffs as she sets another vague, heavy item down. “We’re moving from Seattle, in a couple of weeks.”

The gravity of the situation takes a fuller effect, now. “Just like that?” His voice raises. “Did you even  _ask_  her?”

“Of course I asked her!” Cece responds, affronted. “Robert was the one who sat her down about it, even. You know he loves her as much as you and I do.”

“This is a lot to wrap up in one phone call.” Harry isn’t surprised by her lack of consideration for his input, though. He’s still pissed. “Don’t you think it would’ve been better to call  _before_  you got the ball rolling?”

“I tried! Your damn phone was off, I figured you were in a meeting.”

“Lousy excuse,” he snaps. 

“Can I finish?” She takes Harry’s silence as a yes. “She hasn’t been happy here, Harry. The last few times, the last few months, really. She’s always asking to call you, she can’t sleep at night.”

Harry’s stomach drops, picturing Tessa bundled up in Cece and Robert’s flat, missing him. His heart has been hurting so much lately, but the pang of longing resounds throughout his sternum all the same. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let her call?”

“Because,” she sighs, sounding like she’s finally letting herself sit down. He pictures her, with her dull blonde hair in a messy braid like always, her hazel eyes tired, her small shoulders weighed down with exhaustion. While he’s never had any feelings for her that aren’t platonic, he still sympathizes with her. They’ve been through too much together for him not to feel anything towards her struggles, towards Tessa not feeling as strong of a bond with her. “Because I thought maybe I could make her want to stay.”

Harry sighs along with her, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Cece…”

“No, Harry, I don’t want you to try and make this better,” she says, her voice is throaty but strong. “I’ve known it for a long time now, and I’m doing better with it.”

Harry shakes his head, she’s stubborn and set, as usual. “I feel like there’s more to this that you’re not telling me.”

She laughs, a short bark. It’s the kind of sound that settles you, Harry thinks. “Because there is.” She pushes on. “This is supposed to be a happy call for both of us, but we both keep getting hung up.”

Harry doesn’t quite understand. “Alright? Get on with it, then.”

“Robert and I are trying,” she breathes. “We’re trying for a baby, Harry.”

“Oh,” is his first response, because that’s news to him. Great news, though, hell. “That’s… that’s wonderful.” 

“I know, like you said, it’s a lot for one call-”

“No, it really is wonderful!” His tone is having a rough time matching what he’s trying to convey. “For how long?”

“Just a couple of months now,” she says, hesitant, but sounding excited. “We’ve been seeing a doctor, trying to go about it the best way. Everything should be fine, he’s told us that a second pregnancy at twenty-seven is just fine. It all feels new again.”

“I’m really happy for you,” he tells her, truthfully. He remembers the doctors visits, the first glimpse of Tessa he got, how exciting and terrifying it all was. 

“Thank you.” She sounds more settled, with that off her chest. “But that was just one half of it.”

“All of that was only half?” Harry feels his neck tense, how much can he take?

“Well, the pregnancy part, anyway.” She throws in.

“Okay.” He breathes a little easier. “Hit me with it.”

Cece takes a pause. “I think, with everything that’s happening, with Robert’s transfer, with us trying now, and with Tessa missing you and Louis so much,” the additive of Louis’ name is new, but he decides not to comment, instead letting it simply warm him from the inside out. “I think it’d be better for her if her visits to us were not as frequent.”

Harry’s fingers twitch with some urge to push or pull. He needs someone’s hand in his in a moment like this, he knows exactly who he needs, knows that he’ll be here soon. “What?”

“Rob and I have talked about it,” she says, clearing her throat. “And we’re in agreement. We think she should be with you.”

Harry swings his legs off the bed, hunching over his his elbows on his knees. “Don’t fuck with me, Cece.”

“I’m not,” she says. “I’m serious about this, it’s what’s best. She’ll be with you most of the year, and she’ll spend a month in the summer with us.” 

Harry can’t put words to how his mind is racing, how his hands are now shaking. His voice fails him and all he’s left with is an overwhelming feeling of hope. Of joy.

“If that’s all right with you, of course.” 

Harry’s breath comes out in a harsh exhale. “Christ,” he murmurs. “Of course, it’s, of course it’s all right with me, yes absolutely.” 

Cece chuckles with what sounds like amusement over the line. “I thought so.” She’s smiling, and he can hear it. She isn’t bitter about this in the least. For the first time in a long while, Harry feels like things are smoothly falling into place. If his hands are shaking still, it must be the stardust from Tessa’s ceiling. “Listen, I’ve got to load some more boxes and pack up the kitchen, but I’ll be in touch, alright? We can plan for the coming year as we get closer, but I won’t be purchasing anymore plane tickets for now.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” is all he can muster, it seems. “Be careful with the lifting, yeah?”

“Sure, and tell Louis I say hello, will you? He sounds terrific, if the way you’ve been so keyed up about him tells me anything,” she says, and Harry feels ready to fly with how light he feels. “G’bye, Harry.”

“Bye, Cece,” he responds. “We’re going to pick her up together, me and Lou. I’ll tell him,” he adds. “And he is. He really, really is.”

With that, she says a warm farewell, and the line goes dead as Harry sets his phone aside and sits forward, shell shocked.

He takes a deep breath and lets the news wash over him as the silence settles all around. Tessa is coming home, and she’s  _staying_  home. No more bringing her to the airport before he flies off as well. No more fighting the urge to call at ungodly hours of the night. No more feeling like he’s cheating her out of a true childhood because of his job, his schedule, or hers. No more dreading the day she asks the question: “why don’t you and Mum live together?” 

He feels like when the time comes, he’ll get to tell her the proper way. He’ll get to sit her down when she’s ready and tell her about how he’d been enamored with one of the company’s business partners from Seattle. How he’d been invited by him to come out to a club, and how he’d felt pressured by him to accept a threesome with a girl he hadn’t known at the time. How the boy that had taken a hand in changing the course of Harry’s life had transferred to Tokyo without much more than a parting peck to the forehead when the night was over. Everything back then had been wonderful, so why shouldn’t he have gone along with it all? 

And then he’ll have the chance to explain how he wouldn’t take it back, even if he could. Because if he did, where would he be now? He never would have known what it was like to hold her tiny, newborn frame in his arms. He never would’ve learned the difference between almond and soy milk, never would’ve known what it’s like to hold her hand all night as she battles a fever. 

He never would have met Louis. 

Maybe she’ll understand, then. He can only hope that she will. 

From now on, she’ll be home, and Harry can be here for her whenever she needs him. And with the possibility of his promotion coming more and more into reach, he might be able to be home for the majority of the years ahead as well. Louis will be visiting, and they’ll be visiting Louis, and their budding family will get the chance it deserves. Harry feels a pressure behind his eyelids as it all sinks in, that he has a real shot at it, at getting this right. 

He feels a few hot tears roll over, and he’s just burrowing his head in his arms as he hears the front door unlock and open.

“Harry?” he hears after a pause. “Haz?”

It takes him a good moment to clear his throat enough to call back, and even so his voice wobbles noticeably. “I’m here!”

He can hear Louis dropping his stuff by the door and making quick work of the stairs on his way up. “Babe?” Louis’ voice sounds concerned and clipped.

“In her room,” he calls again, trying to wipe his cheeks but he knows it’s no use. Louis comes through the doorway and stops when he catches a look at Harry’s puffy eyes and loose smile, only to rush over and sit next to him, taking Harry’s hands in his own and intertwining their fingers like a life line. Harry feels whole again.

“I tried calling but the line was busy, and you didn’t answer my texts.” He reaches up and runs a thumb over Harry’s cheek, eyes worried and eyebrows furrowed. “What is it? What’s happened?”

Harry shakes his head, not knowing where in the hell to begin. He thinks kissing Louis hello might be a start, so he dives right in. Louis’s surprised at first, but Harry closes his eyes and pours everything into it, all the long nights he’s spent since Louis has left, all the phone calls, his talk with Liam, the news he’s just gotten. Louis’ hand on his cheek slides back into his hair as he melts into it, relaxing as Harry conveys to him that yes, everything is fine, everything is  _fantastic_.

“Tessa’s coming home,” he tells him when they part.

Louis’ features cloud with confusion, not understanding. “Yeah?”

“No, Lou, she’s coming home to  _stay_.”

Louis shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Cece called, I’ll explain it all more detail later, but she and Robert are moving to Arizona, and,” he tries to catch a breath. It feels like he must’ve dreamed it all. “They’re trying for a baby, and Tessa’s going to be here pretty much year round from now on.”

“Wha- Harry, this is–” Louis’ face breaks into a portrait of absolute delight, and Harry is so  _happy_. “This is, god, this is so wonderful! She just called?”

“Yeah, just. Tessa’s coming home, and you’re home now, and I’m just so incredibly,” Harry’s voice breaks over the last bit, and Louis squeezes his hand tightly, his eyes are wet now as well. “I’m so happy, Lou, we get to, we get to be a  _family_.”

There isn’t room for Harry to question making such a statement. Louis shakes his head, smiling hugely as his eyes glimmer up at Harry. He reaches up and pulls Harry down for another kiss, this one full of everything they’re both coming to understand. They’re both at the headwaters of something flowing and beautiful. 

“Family,” Louis breathes, and Harry runs his thumb over the back of his palm. There isn’t any other word to sum up how they both feel.

They’re at the beginning of it all, all over again.

~*~

The next morning, sunlight casts shadows against the walls like honey, muddled and warm. The later is due to the little furnace he has tucked into his side. The walls are ivory above Harry as he slowly blinks his eyes open.

“Mmm, Haz?” 

“Here, babe,” he answers, softly. He noses into Louis’ hair and kisses his temple, smiling dopily at how adorable Louis always looks when he’s first waking up. He feels more rested than ever, with Louis pressing all along his side. He’s moving through molasses, thoughts a content haze in his mind.

Last night had been one of the most relaxed ones that Harry can remember. Louis had woken up early to get ready for the drive, so they took a shower together shortly after their teary moment in Tessa’s room. Harry’d pressed Louis against the shower wall with a luffa in one hand and his cock in the other, sucking Louis off under the hot spray of water.

Tessa’s flight was actually early, so when they arrived at the airport she’d been waiting for them at the luggage corral with a flight attendant. She’d jumped into Harry’s arms and hugged him tight, but the look on her face when she’d spotted Louis waiting beside him had been priceless. Harry had shared a glance with the attendant as Louis spun her around and kissed her on the cheek, commenting on how much she’d grown in the five weeks she’d been away. 

“She was nervous for takeoff,” the attendant, Georgie, had said in an accent that sounded Canadian. “We had a bit of turbulence, but she’s a real trooper. You two are really lucky.” 

Harry’s smile had only widened, as it always does when strangers refer to he and Louis as a couple right off the bat. It’s an obvious thing, one that had taken some convincing when it came to Harry’s coworkers. 

When they’d gotten home Louis had queued up the telly as Tessa and he frosted the cupcakes rainbow colors. She always likes to frost her cupcakes herself, so Harry had saved the task until she was home. After they’d eaten dinner, they’d all cuddled up together on the couch, Tessa in Louis’ lap and Louis leaning back against Harry’s chest, all covered in a throw of blankets. Tessa had hardly made it through  _Sorcerer's Stone_ , so they’d carried her upstairs and tucked her in together. Louis had hummed her a lullaby, and Harry had kissed her on the forehead goodnight as she drifted off, snoring softly. 

The two of them had made their way back to the master bedroom, stripped off quietly, and cuddled in close to one another, finding each other beneath the sheets like two drifting ships. They’d talked about Louis’ classes, the plan for fixing up the flat, and Harry’s trip to L.A. next week. Harry’s mum will be taking Tessa up to spend time at the family cottage in Wales, Anne is excited to be taking her to the coast for a kite festival, and Harry’s just glad she finally gets to spend some time with her Grandmum and Pops before she gets back to school.

They had talked about when they would tell her about Louis being away, and how to go about it. That was something they were trying to compromise on, as Harry wanted to tell her while Louis was still here, but Louis wanted Harry to bring her and explain it to her in Bristol while they would be visiting. They’re working on it, and they’ve still got a bit of time to decide yet.

Harry had explained more about Cece’s call, and they had talked about planning for the future as Harry had run his fingers through Louis’ hair, swirling patterns against his temples. He can’t remember when they started thinking years ahead together, but it’s a part of them now, and he wouldn’t change a thing. They’d fallen asleep kissing, too tired to work up to anything else. Harry smiles at the memory of it all now.

Louis yawns like a kitten, stifling a surprised hiccup in the back of his throat before he blinks his eyes sluggishly and focuses his gaze up to Harry. He smiles small and slow. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Harry responds, winding a leg over so that he’s wrapped around his boy like a blanket. 

“Hi,” Louis repeats, still smiling. His eyes are clouded with sleepy stars. “Dreamt about you.”

Harry shouldn’t be so continuously surprised that his stomach still swoops at comments like that. It shouldn’t feel like words aren’t enough to say it all. But maybe, he’s realizing more and more, maybe it should, because it  _does_. 

“Yeah?” He can feel his cheeks starting to hurt from trying to keep his dimples in check. “Not a nightmare, I hope?”

“Not all of it, anyway…” Louis smirks, wrapping his legs around Harry’s thighs and dragging his ankles slowly against the backs of Harry’s legs. Because of course he knows what that’ll do to him. 

“Lou,” he whines, drawing out his name with a pout that’s only slightly exaggerated.

“Hm,” Louis hums, a coy smile that’s soft around the edges curling at his lips. He runs a light touch up Harry’s bare spine, causing him to shiver. “You wanna?”

Harry’s pout melts as he leans in and kisses the corner of Louis’ mouth. “‘Course,” he mumbles quickly. “Always wanna.”

“And I’m the young one, sure.” Louis swats at him.

Harry  _hmpfs_ , and drops his hips so his half hard dick is pressed against Louis’, which is beginning to perk up as well. “Quiet, you.”

Louis’ breath catches, and his legs tighten around Harry’s. “Make me.”

Harry circles his hips dangerously slow, drawing out the thrum of pleasure that sparks against his navel. “Fine,” he whispers low in Louis’ ear, earning him a soft noise. He circles Louis’ wrists and pins them against the sheets. “Gonna have t’be quiet.”

“I know,” Louis grumbles, impatient. He squirms under Harry’s hold. “C’mon, Haz.”

“Like this?” Harry asks, wiggling his fingers against Louis’ wrists.

“Yes.” Louis nods, and tightens the hold of his thighs. “I just. Wanna feel your cock, okay? Just, Haz, just grind into me, babe.”

“God,” Harry moans as he follows the order gladly, swerving his hips into the swell of Louis’ arse. His voice dips. “Missed this.”

“Me too,” Louis says, breathing foggy and hushed against Harry’s lips. 

Harry’s cock is full now, and he brings himself down onto one elbow so he can weave a hand between their stomachs to take ahold of Louis’. “Feels so good,” he grunts, shifting his weight onto his knees so he can thrust forward. 

“Yeah,” Louis whines quietly as the head of Harry’s cock catches over the rim of his hole.

“Push your cheeks together for me, angel.” He slips the petname in as he releases Louis’ wrists, knowing that it will help Louis relax, allow him to just feel this instead of having his mind race over everything. “Wanna fuck between them, okay?”

“Please, yeah,” Louis scrambles, pulling his hands off of Harry’s back and reaching under, lifting up his hips so he can push his arse cheeks together. It creates a tight vice for Harry’s dick. 

“Relax, love.” Harry leans in and kisses him slowly, trying to calm him. Louis’s trying to rush, but Harry isn’t having it. “We’ve got time, let me make this good for you.” 

Louis exhales, and Harry soothes a hand over the tense line of his shoulders, feeling him melt into the mattress a little more before reaching for the bottle of lube he keeps in the nightstand. He understands the manic energy that’s glowing off if Louis’ skin. It’s been too long since they’ve been together properly, and although the rush to release is there, they have time. It clicks into place that Louis needs him to remind him of that.

He slicks up his hand and eases it over his cock, then squeezes a dollop onto his first two fingers so he can reach down and rub over Louis’ rim and all around his entrance, spreading it to his inner thighs for good measure. “Ready?” He asks, taking Louis’ dick back in hand and jacking him slowly. 

Louis nods, drawing in a breath as he pushes his cheeks together again tightly, hips twitching. “Ready.”

Harry pushes between the tight space and feels his throat rumble at the low noise it draws out of him. Louis’ thighs are straining and he can feel the slight shake of them against his hips as he eases in and out of Louis’ hold.

He reaches under to hoist Louis’ hips up so that the angle has Harry’s cock catching his rim with every thrust. The tight heat of Louis’ arse is so good that he loses himself for a short moment, fucking in and out with a consistent and sharp snap of his hips.

“Haz,” Louis breathes, sounding startled by the sudden change in their tempo. 

Harry leans in and catches Louis’ open lips, sliding his tongue inside and biting lightly on the drawback. He uses the pent up strength in his arms to lift Louis’ hips even higher as he moves to suck at the base of his neck.

“Feel good?” He asks as he licks over a shallow mark he’s just left above Louis’ collarbone. 

“Mhmm,” Louis’ legs are tightening, his thighs trembling fully now, aching for a release from the tension. He’s not close enough yet, but he’s about to be.

“It’s so tight, baby, feels amazing.” He praises as he works his right hand to the small of his boys’ back.

He can hear Louis swallow from where he’s breathing hotly against his throat. “S’for you, Daddy.”

Harry’s hips stutter,  _fuck_. So that’s another reason why he’d been so antsy before, because he needed this, too. He works his finger down between Louis’ cheeks where it’s slick, and he can feel the head of his cock when it pushes forward, his left hand has a thumb tracing over Louis’ slit. They’re a tangle of breath, limbs, and love.

“D’you need Daddy, baby?” he asks as he lets his fingers circle Louis’ hole. He’d been expecting a soft morning quickie, but he can see now in the quiver of electricity that hangs between them that this is what they both need.

Louis nods shakily, and his arms are shaking now, too. Harry can’t let him struggle with it any longer. He draws back so his cock slides out from between Louis’ cheeks, slick and hard, springing against his hip. He rubs against Louis’ hole twice more before he pull his fingers away as well, so that he’s only holding Louis’ dick in a loose fist now.

“I’m here.” He kisses him sweetly, reassuring him that even though he’s pulled back, they’re all good. “Can you flip over for me?”

Louis murmurs an affirmative, shifting his hips sluggishly. Harry’s there helping him right away, leaning down to kiss his shoulder as he maneuvers them so that Louis has a pillow under his waist. He tucks Louis’ cock neatly under his belly so he can fuck into the pillow once they get going again. 

“How d’you want your arms, love?” he asks as he massages the backs of Louis’ thighs, trying to ease some of the strain that had resided there earlier.

“Up and stretched, please,” Louis answers, voice calmer, muffled a bit by the pillow that’s also tucked under his chin. Harry reaches forward so that he can place Louis hands together around the pillow, so that they’re bent like twin archer bows. “Thank you,” he hears, afterwards.

“‘Course,” he tilts his head so he can see Louis’ features. His eyes are sparkling dimly as he looks back at him, like he’s contented, but still energized. Harry can share that sentiment. He leans in to kiss him for what must be the thousandth time, he can’t be expected to keep count. “Love you so much.”

“Love you, too.” Louis’ voice is stronger now, the draw of his spine has relaxed visibly. 

“Better?” he asks, to be sure.

“Better,” Louis agrees. “You always know best.”

Harry chuckles, tucking that comment under his metaphorical cap. “I’ll remember that.”

Louis lets his head fall face first into the pillow as he groans. “Shit,” he grumps.

Harry laughs again, and kisses the back of his neck. “Enough of that now.” He brackets Louis’ thighs with his knees and takes a palmful of both of his arse cheeks. Louis rotates his hips interestedly in response. Harry's hands move on instinct, releasing Louis’ arse and gripping his hips tightly. “Still.”

Louis’ motions cease entirely, and Harry can hear the quiet whine he releases from here. He reaches for the lube again and coats his two fingers once more before going back to circling around his hole for the second time this morning. Louis arches his back slowly, and Harry can’t do anything but give him what he knows he needs.

He dips one finger inside and twists it with a short flick. Louis responds by hunching forward and biting into the pillow, pleading. “More, please.”

Harry grips his left cheek hard and squeezes it to the side so that Louis’ hole is on fuller view. The grip of Louis’ rim clenching around only his one finger has him biting his lip to keep quiet. Louis needs dominance right now. He draws back his left hand and brings it down with a  _crack_  against the cheek it had previously been gripping, just as he slips in a second finger. Spanking is something they discovered back in December. 

“ _Oh_ ,” is the only sound Louis is able to make, it seems. Harry can feel his lips twitching in a validated smirk. He stretches his fingers so that he’s scissoring his boy open, thumb tracing a half moon around the greedy rim that’s trying to draw him in.

“Want three?” he asks, breathing it down the nape of Louis’ neck.

“Want  _you,_ ” Louis pleads, voice broken in a way that means he’s close. It’ll just take having Harry’s cock in him to finish him, to finish them both.

Harry curls his fingers one last time before pulling them out, making quick work of lubing himself up. His precome had already been doing a fine job, so it won’t take much to make the glide in much easier. Louis’ hole is still wet from the lube from earlier, so as Harry lines himself up and pushes in slowly, they find it’s easier than expected.

“Fuck,” he grunts once he bottoms out, giving Louis a long moment to adjust. God, he missed this. He missed this body beneath him, and it hits him now that Liam is in Switzerland now, that in the next few days he’ll be flying back with a ring that Harry is going to give to this boy that’s under him. He can’t support himself with the weight of all that potentially lies in front of them, his hands move to grip Louis’ shoulders and his knees give weakly so that he’s essentially supporting his weight on his hips.

“Please,” Louis hiccups. “Hard, Daddy,  _please_.”

He’s never been able to say no to that. He draws out and snaps back in, buckling his elbows so that’s draped over Louis’ back, grinding in deeper and deeper. Louis’ hips snap back to match the rhythm Harry has set, and it’s only a few minutes of this before Louis’s gasping and Harry’s hands have grown restless.

“Close, baby,” he breathes. 

“Oh my god.” Louis bounces his hips against the pillow, and Harry knows the friction on his dick must be amazing there. He reaches under and around with his right hand to brush over the nub of one of Louis’ nipples, pinning him into the sheets with a hand pressing down on his opposite shoulder.

“C’mon, angel, I know you’re ready.” He snaps his hips with a final spike of energy, rocking into the tight pressure that’s pressing against every inch of his cock. Their initial rule of staying quiet has long since been broken, but the slap of their skin is shallow because of how tight Harry’s keeping his thrusts, aiming for and hitting Louis’ prostate head on. He rolls the nipple he’s got between his fingers and pinches hard as Louis’ back arches. “Come, Louis.”

“F- _fuck_ ,” Louis moans as he collapses into the pillow and snaps his hips back twice more before his entire frame is tensing as he releases, trembling beneath him. 

Harry fucks into his clenching heat and burrows his face in the juncture of Louis’ neck, feeling his heartbeat roar in his ears. “Oh  _god_ , angel,” and he’s coming, too, spilling into him and only wanting to get closer. 

His orgasm lasts for what seems like ages, but his head is so busy spinning that he couldn’t count to ten if he tried. Louis is just as winded, turning his head only slightly so that they’re facing each other, breathing out into the same space. Harry swallows and his eyes roam over Louis’ features, waiting until his eyes finally open again so that he can see him. So he can see how his eyelashes flutter and how the puffs of each of his exhales make his chest rise and fall. There eventually comes a point where Harry’s thinking has cleared enough that he can lift himself up to kiss down Louis’ spine, coherent enough that he’s able to murmur the praises that Louis deserves as he pulls out of him slowly. 

“Felt so good, love,” he breathes, soothing his hands slowly over the dip of Louis’ waist. “So lovely for me.”

Louis’ fists unclench and he’s able to slowly roll himself so that he’s smiling lazily up at Harry, who’s now on all fours, hovering weakly over him. He makes a grabby hand up at him, and Harry moves back in easily.

“Love you.” Louis kisses once against his lips, once against his chin. “Feel so much better.”

“Me too.” Harry squeezes his hip.

Louis’ stomach is covered in come, and his arse probably starting to feel especially messy by now, so Harry musters up enough strength to roam to the bathroom and gather up the essentials for a proper cuddle session. He hums softly to himself as he pours a cup of water from the sink. His bones feel less heavy, his chest is pleasantly flushed, and his hair’s a tangled knot of curls. Well fucked doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“You never did tell me about that dream of yours,” he calls. Louis kisses him with a soft peck behind his ear when he gets back. Harry listens as he rubs a warm cloth down Louis’ chest, cleaning him up. 

“There was this bit where Niall whisked me away to his homeland and you came lumbering after us, quite terrifying, it was.”

Harry’s dons his pout from earlier again, but the plot only thickens. 

“All the while you were wearing a Miley Cyrus get up, of sorts. Had the foam finger and everything.” Louis takes a sip of water, swallowing and looking teasingly thoughtful. “Your curls were up in bow knots. I suppose you just can’t be tamed, is what it all comes down to.”

Harry buries his face in Louis’ neck, pushing down a ridiculous flare up of jealousy that he honestly feels a bit helpless against. Niall and his Irish, boyfriendnapping ways be damned. He lets out a childish - and dramatically high pitched - whine and wriggles around like a fish, limbs like spaghetti noodles as he flails about to make a point. Louis is laughing, it seems all their logic and reason has been thrown out the window in their drugged, sex drunk stupor. They’re together, and that’s plenty enough on it’s own to make him giddy.

“Alright, alright! Enough, dude!” Louis calls, gripping at Harry’s biceps to stop him.

Harry quits at that, rolling over on top of him and raising up on his forearms enough to raise an eyebrow. “ _Dude_?”

“Pal, amigo, lad, the choice is yours.” Louis huffs a puff of air up the curve of his nose, his fringe has fallen in his eyes and Harry knows how much he hates that. He reaches out with light fingers and brushes it behind his ears.

“None of those.”

“Oh, no?” Louis blows another puff upwards as one of Harry’s curls falls in his face, tickling his cheek. “None of those quite fit your esteemed standard?”

“I think I much rather prefer fire of my loins, or well-endowed lover.” He turns up his nose at the thought of anything less. “Always felt those are a tad underused.” 

Louis just stares back at him for a long moment. “I suppose I’ll have to keep those in mind next time you bring me ‘round the office.”

Then they’re both laughing. Harry’s heard the Sydney Opera House live, and he still thinks that this is the most musical sound, their happiness shared together audibly. 

“Need the loo if we’re gonna keep on at this rate,” Louis murmurs into Harry’s tangled hair after they’ve settled in again. Harry rolls on his side, opening up his arms like a clamshell to let Louis get up. And there’s a thought, maybe Louis is his pearl. He shakes his head, definitely sex drunk. 

“Will you go have a look in on her?” Harry asks, looking over at the clock to see that it reads half ten.

“Mhmm,” Louis answers around his toothbrush, pulling up a pair of Harry’s boxers as he opens their door and heads down the hallway.

Harry clears the dirty pillows aside and closes his eyes restfully, listening to Louis open Tessa’s door, to his quiet footsteps. When he comes back he closes their door again, motioning with both of his hand under his head and his eyes closed that she’s still asleep. He goes right into the bathroom to wash out his mouth. It’s comforting, such simple noises. The sink cuts off and he can hear him open the cupboard and rummage for something. 

Harry has kind of dozed off a bit by the time Louis comes back, back against the headboard and eyes closed. He returns to the land of the fully awake via a warm, familiar bate of breath on his neck and a lapful of his favorite boy. He isn’t complaining.

“Babe, look what I found behind the mouthwash.”

Harry blinks his eyes open to see a purple Crayola marker with smudged hearts drawn all over the white spaces, a T.S. initialed on the bottom end. He reaches up to take it and smiles without really consenting to it.

“Did you know about this one?” he asks, looking up to see Louis’ eyes warm and welcoming.

Louis shakes his head. “No, I only helped with the socks and a few others.” He’s smiling now, too. Harry loves when he smiles like this, soft creases by the corners of his eyes and sharp canine teeth poking out from in between his lips. “This one was all her.”

He rolls it between his fingers as his free hand scratches light patterns on Louis’ calf. His mind drifts over the idea of waking her up, making sure she’s doing alright. She’d been chatty at the dinner table, just fine all throughout the evening, but he hasn’t seen her in  _weeks_.

"Haz," he hears at his own lack of acknowledgement. Louis leans forward and kisses his cheek, reading him like a book. "She's just fine, having sweet dreams a’plenty. Let her rest, she’s knackered from her flight.”

He breathes out, nodding. Louis' fingers wrap around his to slowly take the marker, the subtle smell of him, clean laundry and a dash of sunlight, settles him like nothing else can.

The snick of the marker being uncapped catches his attention, and he opens his eyes slowly to see Louis with a concentrated gaze, his eyes tracing over the canvas of Harry’s skin. The cool fabric tip startles him at first but he just looks on with a mix of amusement and anticipation. When Louis pulls away from where he'd been working on his bicep Harry’s smile spreads like wildfire.

_Stop worrying, Dragon_

“You remember that?” He asks.

“‘Course I do,” Louis answers. “Takes more than a few body shots to keep me from recalling a night like that.”

Harry shakes his and is quick to snatch the marker. He holds out Louis’ left forearm and sticks his tongue out in concentration, trying to make the letters neat enough to read.

_You’re cute_

“Really?” Louis’ features twist up as he reads it. “Give me that.”

 _You are so sexy_  he writes across Harry’s hip, followed by,  _and dumb_.

“Hmpf,” Harry huffs when Louis looks him in the eye again, he sneaks the marker into his fingers again, and it starts up a pattern. 

 _Love your body_ he writes in a curve above Louis’ knee.

Louis just scoffs.

_Your eyes are pretty nice_

And they would be the ones to get stupidly competitive over this, wouldn’t they?

_Prettiest ankles ever_

_Your arms are so strong_ Louis scrawls, and Harry’s heart is full to the brim.

_Love you everywhere_

_Always want you_ Louis writes his last one slowly, meeting Harry’s eyes with a small, honest smile.

Harry’s fingers tingle with something he can’t name. “I really did miss you, you know.”

Louis’ face crumbles slightly, and Harry feels regret for his words immediately. Louis doesn’t respond immediately, fiddling with the fringe of a throw pillow they had tossed aside a while ago. He swallows, and places his hand on Harry’s knee lightly. “I saw your drafts, when I went into the study yesterday,” Louis says. “I had to get the stapler from the desk drawer, and on your desk, I saw your proposal for some promotion.”

Harry’s stomach turns cold. “Louis,” he starts.

“I’m not– Louis shakes his head, like he can tell what Harry’s tone gives away. His voice is excited in a way that Harry doesn’t quite understand. “I’m not mad, not at all, Haz.”

Harry’s brows furrow at that, because it seems like Louis  _should_  be upset. “I wanted it to be a surprise.” He can feel his shoulders slump, relieved at Louis’ understanding, but still put out. “And if it, if it didn’t work out I didn’t want to get anyones hopes up for nothing. It’s really important to me that I get it, and I wanted to have some good news to possibly bring when I would come to see you.”

“I could tell it was a big deal for you.” Louis reaches for his hand, his eyes are trying to coax Harry back. This is something that’s becoming a regular thing for them now, taking care of one another even more so than before. “I know how much you dedicate yourself to things that mean something to you.”

Harry feels a pang in his chest at the flip side of that coin, but sets that larger portion of his heart aside for a moment. “The promotion means less time up in the air, it means a pay raise that could take care of everything we could ever possibly need.” He pauses. “It’s what is best for everyone, because it means more freedom, for all of us.”

“Haz, the address on the correspondence letter you got.” Louis draws himself closer so that they’re pressed side to side, so that Harry’s looking down at him and Louis’s peering up. Here they are, sat having this discussion while covered in purple writing from one of Tessa’s markers. Typical. “You know I’m no good when I’m curious, I couldn’t help but see the letter that was on top of all the others, the address, was from somewhere in Bristol.”

Harry swallows. “I know.”

“What does that, what does that mean?”

He flips the marker between his fingers, a nervous habit. “It means,” he flexes his hand and sets the marker aside, no more distractions. Progress through honesty. “It means that the company is branching out and starting up a new building there, in Bristol. It means that I’m not really competing against anyone else for it, I just have to prove myself. It means that the promotion would have me stationed there, overseeing the new addition, and heading up the transactions that take place with the company’s partners in America. As that’s the next step towards us going international, they’ve decided.”

Louis doesn’t say anything for minute or two. Harry’s heartbeat is dull now, like he’s exposed and open to whichever way this leads them. He knows that he wants this, but this hinging moment will decide for them if the sentiment is mutual.

“God,” is all he hears, and his head snaps up at the breathy quality of it. Louis’ face is  _beaming_. “You’re the biggest shit, d’you know that?”

“What–” he tries, but he’s being pushed back on his back and Louis is climbing on top of him and pulling him into a kiss that explains it all for him.

“This whole time I’ve been–” another kiss “–fucking off my head worrying about us, worrying about you, how could you just fucking keep this from me? Bastard. And me feeling  _wretched_ the whole time we were apart because I just want you  _there_  with me.” Another kiss, this one longer and Harry’s heartbeat is at full volume once again. “But your life is here, and I couldn’t ask you for anything more because you’ve already committed to so much with me, and I know that, but  _Christ_ , Haz. I missed you so much.”

“I know,” is all Harry can say. “Lou, I know.”

Louis pulls back and just hugs him, just curls his legs around Harry’s and lays his head on Harry’s chest and embraces him. Harry pulls him in even closer, and together they just let this all sink in. They’re falling head first into something he can’t name, but he thinks now they’ve got a lifeline.

“I haven’t gotten it just yet, you know.” He smiles as Louis lifts his head to scowl back at him. “It’ll be decided after I get back from L.A.”

“There isn’t anyone better for it,” Louis says, dead certain and set. “I remember talking to Joshua, that friend of Annabelle's,” he mentions Harry’s boss on a first name basis because all of his coworkers  _adore_ Louis. Annabelle, the Chief Executive over Harry for Christ's sake, invited Louis over for tea after he'd shown her how to use soda water to get a wine stain out of her blouse. That’s a story for another time, though. “When we were at that dinner of her's in June, remember? He said they’ve never had someone so motivated before, they all love you.”

Harry shakes his head and hugs Louis against his chest like before, he’s hopeful, he really is.

“I’m so proud of you,” Louis tells him, pecking a kiss right over Harry’s heart.

Harry can’t keep it back any longer, somehow, right here and now, he knows this is it. He slowly pulls Louis up again, and he kisses him until they’re both seeing stars, until their breathing is ragged and he’s saying Louis’ name unknowingly when their lips are apart. They kiss and write sonnets all over the canvases of their tan skin, more little messages that become shorter and shorter until the marker has nearly run dry. It’s beautiful, they’re beautiful together, always have been.

 _Marry me someday_ he scrawls with shaking fingers in one the few blank spaces on Louis’ chest. He can feel the adrenaline seeping through every letter, the hopes and the dreams he’s had ever since he met this boy, along with how nervous he is to finally ask. It’s a mountain peak with a view of the heavens, all theirs for the taking.

([x](https://31.media.tumblr.com/b55fad218612633acc201705dbe93666/tumblr_inline_n9on8nHMRU1r8upld.jpg)) ([x](http://snapcchat.tumblr.com/))

“Fuck,” Louis whispers, freezing as he reads it from upside down, voice caught. “Are you, are you serious?”

Harry, he just, well. All he can do is nod. And hope.

“Yes, Haz, of course.” 

Harry lets out a huge breath and just breathes, like his heartbeat is learning how to drum again. Like he’s coming up to the surface for air. Like he’s diving under. Like he’s drowning and learning how to swim. If Louis is an ocean, he’s been swept away with the tide. “ _Yes_?”

“Yes, Harry, fuck yes.” Louis tackles him back into the sheets and kisses him like it’s the first time all over again. He can feel Louis’ cheeks getting wet. His vision clouds over, and he’s falling fast.

“Really?” He asks when they part.

“Yes, really, you idiot!” His arms are wrapped so tightly around him, and everything is so right. 

“You really wanna marry me?” Harry can’t even control himself, his smile is splitting and his dimples are popping so hard it hurts. He says it so quietly he’s not even sure he heard himself. 

“Yeah, Haz, I really do.” Louis’ eyes are right on him, they’re both still crying, and Harry’s  _gone_.

“Okay, fuck, um,” he stammers. “I uh, the ring is, it’s um.”

“What?” Louis looks back at him, a mixture of overwhelming excitement and mild confusion. “What is it?”

“It’s not here yet?” He fucking forgot that he doesn’t have the ring yet. “I saw this design and kept thinking about it, and I, well, I wanted to get you to have the best! But it’s in Switzerland, so I had to have Liam get it while he’s there, but he won’t be back for a couple more days, Lou, I’m so sorry-”

“Babe, Haz, it’s alright.” Louis’ voice has so much warmth to it, and he kisses Harry silly. “I don’t need it yet, I’ve got you.”

“It’s a promise ring.” Harry tells him, trying to gage Louis’ reaction as he pulls back. “I wanted to start with that, because we’re still new at this, both of us. But I wanted that, a solid  _promise_ to you that you are what I want. What I’m always going to want.”

“A promise ring,” Louis’ echoes, and Harry should probably stop with the rambling. Louis can quiet him easily enough. 

Harry just bites his lip, feeling small and vulnerable, but this entire moment is too honest to ever make any of this feel wrong. He swallows around the lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

Louis’ hand squeezes his tightly and he nods. “I want that,” he says, sounding certain. “You’re right, there’s so much happening now, it’s insane, but this is what I want. We can wait a bit before we walk down the aisle, but I want this. I want us.”

Harry’s quite literally speechless, all he can do is stare and feel his heartbeat pound in his chest. Louis’s blushing under his gaze, and out of all the scenarios he envisioned of this moment, not one of them can compare to how the real thing feels.

“Okay, here.” Louis sits up slightly, voice full of a watery kind of fondness. “Draw one for me.”

“W-what?” Harry stutters out his fogged we-kind-of-just-got-engaged dream state.

“Just draw one right on my finger.” Louis is smiling just as wide as he is as he hands him the marker from where Harry’d dropped it. “A trial run, to get me ready for the real thing.”

It takes a second, but he kicks into gear. Harry scrambles to sit up and kneel beside Louis on his side of the bed. It’s a flurry of flying sheets.

“Okay, I’ve gotta do this proper now, okay, fuck.” He gets down on one knee at the edge of the bed and Louis rights himself with a huff of laughter. Harry takes a deep breath. “Louis Tomlinson–”

“Fuck,” Louis repeats himself and he grabs for Harry’s left hand so that they can still touch, still hold. Harry tries to breathe, tries to think over the formal speech he’s practiced in his mind hundreds of times.

“Louis Tomlinson,” he starts again, he has to clear his throat a few times. “I have loved you through some of the hardest and happiest times of my life, and you have been there by my side throughout it all. You are the kind of person I’ve always hoped I would have the chance to fall in love with.” He’s reliving watercolor splashes of memories. Vivid and vague images of their first formal fight over something stupid, of Louis seeing him off when he took that two week trip to Miami, helping Louis decide what furniture to take along with him before he left. But there’s so much more between them than simply the last nine months, they’ve had  _years_ together. Harry has seen Louis grow, just as Louis has seen Harry mature. Louis was there when Tessa learned how to ride a bike, he’s been here through all of it. “But more than that, you are unexpected, spontaneous, and you make me want to be my best self each and every day.” 

He bites his lip to steady himself, Louis squeezes his hand. “I remember when we first met, I remember just hoping that Tessa could get to know you, and that maybe I could get to know you, too.” He laughs a little, nervously. “A few years down the line and here we are.” Louis is holding his hand so tightly, and Harry is holding right back. “I know that there is absolutely no one better fit for this family than you.” Louis is sniffling and his lower lip is trembling where he has it pulled between his teeth. He knows what all of these words mean to Harry. “We’ve both still got so much ahead of us, so much left to figure out, and I know that. But you mean the entire world to me, and if you’d let me, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.” Here it comes. “I love you with absolutely everything I am. I have never, and I know that I will never love anyone else the way I love you.” One final breath. “Someday in the future, will you marry me?”

There’s this moment in which they both are just looking back into one another and realizing that this is real, they’ve found one another. This is what lighting the fuse of forever truly means.

“Yes,” Louis breathes. “Yes, yes,  _yes_.”

Harry rests his forehead on Louis’ knee and breathes out, and in. “Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you, too, so much.” Louis sobs on a happy choke, picking his head up so they can look at one another again. “Harry, all of that just-”

“I meant every word.” 

“I know you did.” Louis leans down and kisses him as his body shakes. “You mean more to me than I can ever say.”

Harry leans up to kiss a tear out of the corner of his eye, rubbing his thumb over the back of Louis’ hand. “I know,” and the smile he’s wearing colors his voice golden.

Harry’s hands are still shaking a bit, but he takes Louis’ hand in his and draws a rhombus with a star in the middle and a thin band that wraps around. When it’s done he leans down and presses a kiss over it before looking up at his  _future husband_ , who just looks down at his lips and laughs. Maybe it’ll be months or years from now that they actually put together a ceremony, but then again, maybe it’ll be tomorrow. 

He knows the wet marker must’ve stained his lips, and that the drawing is probably more than a little smudged, but he’s too busy kissing the love of his life to care. Purple is a good color on them both, Harry thinks. But as he feels his heartbeat come to settle over Louis’, he thinks that maybe love just might be the best shade of all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! That is the longest single fic installation that I have ever managed to publish, and I cannot believe it’s all wrapped up. This series is my baby, but it isn’t over yet. Just in case you downloaded this into iBooks or some other platform, the song Louis sings to Tessa is called Promise by Ben Howard.
> 
> Feedback is amazing - kudos and comments are automatically sent to me as email notifications, so whenever I get to read what you guys think my day is instantly brighter. You can also keep up with me on tumblr as darkerwings and on twitter @darkerwings if you'd like.


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